a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems is is not managed correctly. describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. do you think that benefist of tourism outweight its drawbacks?

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Over the years, many countries
depend
Wrong verb form
have depended
show examples
on
tourism
industries as their major income.
A robust
Remove the article
Robust
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growth of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
activities brings various benefits, particularly in the economic sector.
However
,
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
impacts of the
tourism
business have to be considered seriously. From a broad perspective, there is no doubt that
tourism
has many advantages.
Firstly
,
tourism
industries contribute to accommodation revenue.
For example
, tourists spend money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
several services,
such
as transportation and hotels.
Furthermore
,
tourism
business results have a possibility to increase infrastructure improvement. A rapid development of accommodation and infrastructure will lead to an increase in the number of tourists and revenue. Through
this
scheme,
tourism
creates many new job opportunities, especially for the local people, encouraging local businesses to hire more people to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
the tourists’ needs.
On the other hand
, the popularity of tourist places may lead to environmental issues. Overpopulation in tourist locations may disrupt the natural balance of ecosystems. Loss of flora and fauna,
as well as
other important habitats, are some bad impacts
due to
irresponsibility
tourism
activities.
Subsequently
, local
tourism
loses its engagement. Sooner or later, the number of tourists will decrease, resulting in loss of income from the tourist attractions. In conclusion, as the number of
tourism
activities has been rising nowadays, I do believe that
tourism
industries have a lot of positive effects
to support
Change preposition
on supporting
show examples
national income.
However
, I am convinced that if
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
and the management do not apply the sustainability concepts, it will lead to other serious problems,
such
as the degradation of natural ecosystems.
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task achievement
To enhance task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of tourism, as well as clearly stating your own opinion. Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing more logical transitions and connective devices between ideas and paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. This will help in making your argumentation more coherent.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is well supported with detailed examples or reasons. Transition sentences can also help in linking the paragraphs smoothly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Source of income
  • Reliance
  • Boosts local economy
  • Job opportunities
  • Cultural exchange
  • Promotion of local cultures
  • Environmental degradation
  • Overcrowding
  • Strains on resources
  • Commercialization of culture
  • Inflation
  • Increased pollution
  • Preservation
  • Enhances infrastructure
  • Authenticity
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