a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems is is not managed correctly. describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. do you think that benefist of tourism outweight its drawbacks?

#places #world #tourism #source #income #benefist #outweight

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Over the years, many countries

depend

Wrong verb form

have depended

show examples

tourism

industries as their major income.

A robust

Remove the article

Robust

show examples

growth of

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

activities brings various benefits, particularly in the economic sector.

However

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

impacts of the

tourism

business have to be considered seriously. From a broad perspective, there is no doubt that

tourism

has many advantages.

Firstly

tourism

industries contribute to accommodation revenue.

For example

, tourists spend money

for

Change preposition

show examples

several services,

such

as transportation and hotels.

Furthermore

tourism

business results have a possibility to increase infrastructure improvement. A rapid development of accommodation and infrastructure will lead to an increase in the number of tourists and revenue. Through

this

scheme,

tourism

creates many new job opportunities, especially for the local people, encouraging local businesses to hire more people to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

the tourists’ needs.

On the other hand

, the popularity of tourist places may lead to environmental issues. Overpopulation in tourist locations may disrupt the natural balance of ecosystems. Loss of flora and fauna,

as well as

other important habitats, are some bad impacts

due to

irresponsibility

tourism

activities.

Subsequently

, local

tourism

loses its engagement. Sooner or later, the number of tourists will decrease, resulting in loss of income from the tourist attractions. In conclusion, as the number of

tourism

activities has been rising nowadays, I do believe that

tourism

industries have a lot of positive effects

to support

Change preposition

on supporting

show examples

national income.

However

, I am convinced that if

travelers

Change the spelling

travellers

show examples

and the management do not apply the sustainability concepts, it will lead to other serious problems,

such

as the degradation of natural ecosystems.

Submitted by writing9bersama on Tue Mar 12 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of tourism, as well as clearly stating your own opinion. Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Work on providing more logical transitions and connective devices between ideas and paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. This will help in making your argumentation more coherent.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is well supported with detailed examples or reasons. Transition sentences can also help in linking the paragraphs smoothly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Source of income
Reliance
Boosts local economy
Job opportunities
Cultural exchange
Promotion of local cultures
Environmental degradation
Overcrowding
Strains on resources
Commercialization of culture
Inflation
Increased pollution
Preservation
Enhances infrastructure
Authenticity

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a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems is is not managed correctly. describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. do you think that benefist of tourism outweight its drawbacks?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some think spending a lot on birthday celebration and weddings is a waste of money. Others think that it is important for young people and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages.

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

The crime rate nawadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Humans have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress has negative effects on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?