The most important aim of science should be improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Currently, there is a growing belief that
science
should aim to enhance the quality of society's Use synonyms
live
as Replace the word
life
it
primary goal. I Change the pronoun
its
am completely agree
Change the verb form
completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
this
thesis and strongly believe that an improvement in knowledge can Linking Words
promotes
Change the verb form
promote
a better
Correct the article-noun agreement
better life conditions
a better life condition
life
conditions Use synonyms
to
individuals.
Naturally, Change preposition
for
science
is solving the unsolved and answering the unanswered. Research in various Use synonyms
field
, including Fix the agreement mistake
fields
medical
, engineering, architecture, etc, allows Replace the word
medicine
the
researchers to understand our world better. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, the researchers will use the knowledge they gain to solve problems we currently have, Linking Words
hence
contributing to Linking Words
make
a better Change the verb form
making
life
. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
people
were forced to integrate Use synonyms
"new
normal" into their daily Correct article usage
the "new
Use synonyms
life
during Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Covid-19
. At that time, we were requested to do social distancing and reduce movement, which Correct your spelling
COVID-19
were
inconvenient to most Change the verb form
was
people
. Use synonyms
However
, the development of vaccines by Linking Words
scientist
allowed us to finish the outbreak earlier, so Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
people
can do their normal routines.
Another example is how the development in engineering Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
provide
convenience in our everyday Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
life
. The invention of Use synonyms
plane
through complex calculations by Add an article
the plane
a plane
scientist
allows Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
people
to travel from one part of the world to another part in an effective and efficient way. Another example is the development of various materials Use synonyms
let
Verb problem
that allow
the
society to innovate in various construction, including bridges and high-rise Correct article usage
apply
building
. Social sciences in architecture Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
also
contribute Linking Words
in
improving occupants' general health and well-being. These cases Change preposition
to
examplify
how Correct your spelling
exemplify
science
Use synonyms
improving
the quality of our daily Wrong verb form
improves
life
.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
science
is an important aspect Use synonyms
in
our Change preposition
of
live
that Replace the word
lives
influencing
every Wrong verb form
influences
aspects
of our Change to a singular noun
aspect
live
, from health to Replace the word
lives
environment
, socially and economically. Correct article usage
the environment
Therefore
, Linking Words
the
researchers and scientists should utilise Correct article usage
apply
science
to improve Use synonyms
individual's
well-being.Change noun form
individual
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coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and awkward sentences that disrupt the flow of your essay. Focus on sentence structure and avoid common mistakes to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from clearer paragraphing, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
The introduction could be clearer and more direct in stating your thesis. Consider rephrasing it for more impact.
task achievement
You've used relevant examples, which is great. However, further elaboration on how these examples support your main point could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of articles, as these minor errors slightly undermine the professionalism of your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.