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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the united kingdom, sweden, italy,and portuhal between 1967 and 2007

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the united kingdom, sweden, italy,and portuhal between 1967 and 2007
#carbon #dioxide #emissions #person #kingdom #sweden
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The line graph below illustrates the data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 carbon dioxide in the UK,
Sweden
Use synonyms
, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
The
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
 measured in metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom was the highest country that used carbon.
Whereas
Linking Words
, Portugal was the lowest
according to
Linking Words
 the given numbers.
According to
Linking Words
 the charts,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the first period of
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 Uk was the first country in the line with almost 12 metric
tonnes
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 and slightly dropped to just below 10 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2007.
However
Linking Words
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 started with around 8 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and hit the pecked at 11 in 1977.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, after 1977
Sweden
Use synonyms
 dramatically dropped to 5 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Italy and Portugal begin closely with between 3 and 6 metric
tonnes
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 and both of them continue to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
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. Italy reached
at
Change preposition
apply
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just below 7 in 2007.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Portugal
also
Linking Words
 slightly rose and
meet
Wrong verb form
met
show examples
 with
Sweden
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period, accounting
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both of them stopped at 5 in 2007.
Submitted by pichanok25 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sweden, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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