Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
Now days technology is
one
of the most people use Use synonyms
it
and Correct pronoun usage
apply
one
of the Use synonyms
tool
that damage Change to a plural noun
tools
to
our society, yet others say that Change preposition
apply
it
vital to every human behaviour. In my point of view, Add a verb
it is
it was
i
strongly agree that Change the capitalization
I
violence
on Use synonyms
Use synonyms
televion
and Correct your spelling
television
computer
games is affecting Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
brain
.
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
Firstly
, in Linking Words
a
modern Correct article usage
the
world
every Add a comma
world,
hourse
hold has a Correct your spelling
house
Use synonyms
televion
and a Correct your spelling
television
computer
. Some Use synonyms
family they
use watching Replace the word
families
movie
as Fix the agreement mistake
movies
one
of their activity Use synonyms
for building
up more Change preposition
to build
bond
between Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
such
as Linking Words
mother
, daughters and sons. The issue here, Fix the agreement mistake
mothers
when
they watch Add a missing verb
is when
movie
together. They can watch Add an article
a movie
the movie
the
Correct article usage
apply
Use synonyms
violence
movies. Replace the word
violent
This
can damage their brain Linking Words
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
to
the children when they see it. The television Change preposition
apply
manipulate
to do it. Change the verb form
manipulates
For instance
, some kids at school Linking Words
they
have Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
bad behaviour why? Correct article usage
apply
this
is caused by the television.
Linking Words
Secondly
, Linking Words
computer
games Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
has
a big role in ruining Change the verb form
have
children
Change noun form
children's
brain
not them and Fix the agreement mistake
brains
adult
as well because they Fix the agreement mistake
adults
acess
to the new Correct your spelling
access
technoloy
that has portable to carry Correct your spelling
technology
arround
and because of Correct your spelling
around
this
they can have free time to watch Linking Words
movie
on a Add an article
a movie
the movie
computre
Correct your spelling
computer
game
or to play a Use synonyms
violence
Use synonyms
game
. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
one
of my Use synonyms
cousin
Fix the agreement mistake
cousins
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
use
to be a good kid when he was growing up without a Wrong verb form
used
Use synonyms
televion
. He used to live Correct your spelling
television
at
the outer island which place as no Change preposition
on
Use synonyms
televion
Correct your spelling
television
and
Correct word choice
or
computer
. When he came to the city and that Use synonyms
were
he started to act Change the verb form
was
Use synonyms
violence
. Why? he Replace the word
violently
copy
from the Change the verb form
copies
Use synonyms
televion
and Correct your spelling
television
computer
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
game
. He Fix the agreement mistake
games
think
that Change the verb form
thinks
Use synonyms
violence
action is a good thing.
In conclusion, watching Replace the word
violent
Use synonyms
televion
and Correct your spelling
television
computre
Correct your spelling
computer
game
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
play
the
big role Correct article usage
a
of
influencing Change preposition
in
kid
and adults and Fix the agreement mistake
kids
i
believe Change the capitalization
I
this
is the most serious Linking Words
issues
in the community Fix the agreement mistake
issue
and
if the government focus Correct word choice
apply
to resolve
Change preposition
on resolving
this
problem by Linking Words
find
a channel to watch on Change the form of the verb
finding
Use synonyms
televion
and Correct your spelling
television
to monitor
the Change the verb form
monitoring
computer
Use synonyms
game
. I think it will help Use synonyms
the
society and there will be no more Correct article usage
apply
Use synonyms
violence
Replace the word
violent
act
.Fix the agreement mistake
acts
Submitted by riemwatokateti on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear structure: an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should contain one main idea supported by explanations or examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to succinctly state your opinion and summarize your main points without being repetitive. Make sure they are distinct and complete.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with relevant and specific examples. While you mentioned personal observations, more specific, real-world examples or studies would strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on grammar, vocabulary, and punctuation. Consider practicing sentence structure and using a variety of complex sentences to make your essay more engaging and easier to read.