as the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and disciss at least one problem that may result.

As computer technology continues to advance in leaps and bounds,
computers
, machines often capable of performing complex calculations within a very short space of time and equipped with superhuman memory, are gradually rendering human labour superfluous.
Computers
have become more and more able to
subsitute
Correct your spelling
substitute
humans
in their
jobs
.
As a result
, certain job positions may grow antiquated
due to
computers
. First of all,
jobs
that involve manual labour could be easily replaced by
computers
as well as
machines.
For example
, workers who are responsible for staffing the cashier of a supermarket could be forced out of their
jobs
because the tasks they
performm
Correct your spelling
perform
involve limited creativity and are simple and repetitive. These days, machines dealing with payments are already by no means an uncommon spectacle in supermarkets. Some supermarkets can even get rid of human staff members entirely.
Face to face
Add a hyphen
Face-to-face
show examples
and personal
comunications
Correct your spelling
communication
can be
superceded
Correct your spelling
superseded
by customers’ “interaction” with a computer
instead
, which receives commands and
perform
Correct subject-verb agreement
performs
show examples
tasks
accordingly
. The only difference between a human-to-human transaction and a human-to-machine transaction is that the former involves verbal communication
while
the latter involves pressing a few buttons.
Secondly
,
jobs
are that repetitive in nature and involve limited creativity may
also
be replaced by
computers
. Experts in artificial intelligence and futurists have speculated that even positions like accountants and lawyers can be replaced by artificially intelligent
computers
because they are able to solve complex problems in a fraction of the time their human counterparts require.
For example
, a computer will be able to conduct a quick search of its database of case laws and ordinances right after it has analysed the issues in a legal problem. Artificial intelligence could even learn on its own sophisiticated rules in financial accounting
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
perform tasks in
book keeping
Correct your spelling
bookkeeping
show examples
and tax planning and become as knowledgeable and skilful as an accountant. Following the same vein of reasoning,
computers
may even be able to replace
jobs
like doctors and nurses because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will gain the capacity to make complex diagnoses and difficult judgments. A problem that may arise
as a result
of the replacement of
humans
by
computers
at their job is, obviously, unemployment and boredom. Some might think that by the time
computers
are smart enough to replace most
humans
at their
jobs
,
humans
livelihood
Fix the agreement mistake
livelihoods
show examples
would be affected and the economy would plummet. I do not believe
this
would be the case, as wealth would flow to
humans
who are in control of the technology of artificial intelligence.
However
, human labourers and workers, be they blue-collar or white-collar workers, might have to face up to the threat of boredom. They will have to deal with a perpetual sense of ennui and purposelessness and even depression
due to
their lack of occupation and excitement. Should they fail to find ways to occupy themselves, they might risk feeling that their existence is pointless and even ponder putting their lives to a premature end.
To conclude
,
computers
are indeed a big threat to our economic goal of full employment. Their growing prominence
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
forcing us to change our notion of how
humans
can be meaningfully occupied apart from getting a job. If
humans
do not manage to find a meaningful occupation apart from working, they would risk feeling bored, finding their lives without
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
meaning and depressing.
Submitted by JJ on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To further enhance Task Achievement, ensure every main point is directly linked to the question prompt with clear and explicit connections. Develop your ideas further by elaborating on how these connections are made, perhaps by introducing a wider range of examples or by offering deeper insights into the implications of the technological advancements on different sectors.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions between ideas. While your essay has a good logical structure, greater variety in expression and linkages can further enhance the readability and flow of your text.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technologically advanced
  • automated machinery
  • computer controlled robots
  • online banking
  • automated teller machines (ATMs)
  • self-service checkouts
  • autonomous vehicles
  • economic stability
  • unemployment rates
  • skill gap
  • specialized training
  • manual labor
What to do next:
Look at other essays: