as the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and disciss at least one problem that may result.

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As computer technology continues to advance in leaps and bounds,
computers
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, machines often capable of performing complex calculations within a very short space of time and equipped with superhuman memory, are gradually rendering human labour superfluous.
Computers
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have become more and more able to
subsitute
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substitute
humans
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in their
jobs
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.
As a result
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, certain job positions may grow antiquated
due to
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computers
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. First of all,
jobs
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that involve manual labour could be easily replaced by
computers
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as well as
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machines.
For example
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, workers who are responsible for staffing the cashier of a supermarket could be forced out of their
jobs
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because the tasks they
performm
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perform
involve limited creativity and are simple and repetitive. These days, machines dealing with payments are already by no means an uncommon spectacle in supermarkets. Some supermarkets can even get rid of human staff members entirely.
Face to face
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Face-to-face
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and personal
comunications
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communication
can be
superceded
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superseded
by customers’ “interaction” with a computer
instead
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, which receives commands and
perform
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performs
show examples
tasks
accordingly
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. The only difference between a human-to-human transaction and a human-to-machine transaction is that the former involves verbal communication
while
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the latter involves pressing a few buttons.
Secondly
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,
jobs
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are that repetitive in nature and involve limited creativity may
also
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be replaced by
computers
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. Experts in artificial intelligence and futurists have speculated that even positions like accountants and lawyers can be replaced by artificially intelligent
computers
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because they are able to solve complex problems in a fraction of the time their human counterparts require.
For example
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, a computer will be able to conduct a quick search of its database of case laws and ordinances right after it has analysed the issues in a legal problem. Artificial intelligence could even learn on its own sophisiticated rules in financial accounting
and
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apply
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perform tasks in
book keeping
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bookkeeping
show examples
and tax planning and become as knowledgeable and skilful as an accountant. Following the same vein of reasoning,
computers
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may even be able to replace
jobs
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like doctors and nurses because
it
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they
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will gain the capacity to make complex diagnoses and difficult judgments. A problem that may arise
as a result
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of the replacement of
humans
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by
computers
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at their job is, obviously, unemployment and boredom. Some might think that by the time
computers
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are smart enough to replace most
humans
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at their
jobs
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,
humans
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livelihood
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livelihoods
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would be affected and the economy would plummet. I do not believe
this
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would be the case, as wealth would flow to
humans
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who are in control of the technology of artificial intelligence.
However
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, human labourers and workers, be they blue-collar or white-collar workers, might have to face up to the threat of boredom. They will have to deal with a perpetual sense of ennui and purposelessness and even depression
due to
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their lack of occupation and excitement. Should they fail to find ways to occupy themselves, they might risk feeling that their existence is pointless and even ponder putting their lives to a premature end.
To conclude
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,
computers
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are indeed a big threat to our economic goal of full employment. Their growing prominence
are
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is
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forcing us to change our notion of how
humans
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can be meaningfully occupied apart from getting a job. If
humans
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do not manage to find a meaningful occupation apart from working, they would risk feeling bored, finding their lives without
a
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apply
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meaning and depressing.
Submitted by JJ on

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Task Achievement
To further enhance Task Achievement, ensure every main point is directly linked to the question prompt with clear and explicit connections. Develop your ideas further by elaborating on how these connections are made, perhaps by introducing a wider range of examples or by offering deeper insights into the implications of the technological advancements on different sectors.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions between ideas. While your essay has a good logical structure, greater variety in expression and linkages can further enhance the readability and flow of your text.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technologically advanced
  • automated machinery
  • computer controlled robots
  • online banking
  • automated teller machines (ATMs)
  • self-service checkouts
  • autonomous vehicles
  • economic stability
  • unemployment rates
  • skill gap
  • specialized training
  • manual labor
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