The chart shows the water levels of 6 cities in Australia in October 2009 and October 2010

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Part 1

Given the

Correct word choice

The

show examples

bar chart reveals the

water

Use synonyms

levels of 6 cities in Australia: Darwin, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth and Canberra from October 2009 to October 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is evident that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the

water

Use synonyms

level

Use synonyms

in Canberra

Change the preposition

show examples

October 10 was the most high

level

Use synonyms

water

Use synonyms

in all other cities with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

percentage of around 100. By comparing the given data, it can be observed that Darwin's

water

Use synonyms

storage

Use synonyms

decreased considerably from 45% to nearly 30%. One of the highest

rise

Change to a plural noun

rises

show examples

storage

Use synonyms

capacity can

also

Linking Words

observed in Perth by 20% respectively. Another interesting fact is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Brisbane's

water

Use synonyms

level

Use synonyms

capacity did not go through any change.

In addition

Linking Words

Change preposition

with

show examples

Correct article usage

an 8

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

decrease, Melbourne became the only city with the lowest

water

Use synonyms

storage

Use synonyms

capacity out of the other five countries. One of the highest

water

Use synonyms

level

Change to a plural noun

levels

show examples

was in Sydney with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

increase from 75% to 82%. Canberra city records the highest

level

Use synonyms

water

Use synonyms

storage

Use synonyms

increase

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

. (159 words)

g4832525Wed Mar 13 2024

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, level, storage with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

163 words

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The chart shows the water levels of 6 cities in Australia in October 2009 and October 2010

In some countries student pay their fees by themselves but in some countries it has been paid by government

Some parents bring their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this.

All parents wants the best opportunities for their children, there are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children’s future

Some people view video games as harmful, while others believe they have positive impacts, such as enhancing educational skills. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.