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Band 5.5

The table shows information about the numbers of Australian people who visited the seven most popular destinations in 1999 and 2009

The table shows information about the numbers of Australian people who visited the seven most popular destinations in 1999 and 2009
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The table compares seven
countries
Use synonyms
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of the popularity depending on Australian visitors’ travels to these destinations in 1999 and 2009 and
provide
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provides
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 the rate of each place’s growth.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that, in each of the years, New Zealand and the United Kingdom had by far the highest and the
second highest
Add a hyphen
second-highest
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 proportions of visits
of
Change preposition
from
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 Australians studied respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words
, out of seven
countries
Use synonyms
, China was the destination where
more
Add an article
a more
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 significant increase in the number of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 was reported within that time. Concentrating
firstly
Linking Words
 on how many Australian citizens visited the seven
countries
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 in 1999 and 2009, the vast majority of these visitors preferred to travel
the
Change preposition
to the
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 place which is observationally the closest country for them, accounting for 500, 700 in 1999 and over a million in 2009. The United Kingdom comes
next,
Linking Words
with 400,000 and 640,000, 100,000 and 240,000 higher than in the USA in 1999 and after a decade in turn. The remaining
countries
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 – Indonesia, Fiji, Japan, and China – greeted considerably fewer visitors in both years. Turning to growth rate, the percentage of increase in the proportion of
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
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 tourists travelling to China made up 249%, making it the destination with the greatest level of rise;
however
Linking Words
, the figures for Japan and Indonesia were surpassed by China’s:
while
Linking Words
 the former composed 150%, the latter grew to 127%.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the growth rates of Fiji and New Zealand were almost identical at 114, from 1999 and 2009
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the preference of Australians who journeyed to the UK and US
risen
Wrong verb form
rose
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 moderately, at 60% and 33%
in
Change preposition
apply
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order.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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