The table shows information about the numbers of Australian people who visited the seven most popular destinations in 1999 and 2009

The table shows information about the numbers of Australian people who visited the seven most popular destinations in 1999 and 2009
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The table compares seven
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms

It seems that term may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of the popularity depending on Australian visitors’ travels to these destinations in 1999 and 2009 and
provide
Change the verb form
provides

The plural verb provide does not appear to agree with the singular subject The table. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the rate of each place’s growth.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is evident that, in each of the years, New Zealand and the United Kingdom had by far the highest and the
second highest
Add a hyphen
second-highest

It seems that second highest is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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proportions of visits
of
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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Australians studied respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, out of seven
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, China was the destination where
more
Add an article
a more

The noun phrase more significant increase seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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significant increase in the number of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers

The spelling of travelers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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was reported within that time. Concentrating
firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

on how many Australian citizens visited the seven
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in 1999 and 2009, the vast majority of these visitors preferred to travel
the
Change preposition
to the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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place which is observationally the closest country for them, accounting for 500, 700 in 1999 and over a million in 2009. The United Kingdom comes
next,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with 400,000 and 640,000, 100,000 and 240,000 higher than in the USA in 1999 and after a decade in turn. The remaining
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

– Indonesia, Fiji, Japan, and China – greeted considerably fewer visitors in both years. Turning to growth rate, the percentage of increase in the proportion of
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian

The word Australia doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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tourists travelling to China made up 249%, making it the destination with the greatest level of rise;
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the figures for Japan and Indonesia were surpassed by China’s:
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the former composed 150%, the latter grew to 127%.
Whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the growth rates of Fiji and New Zealand were almost identical at 114, from 1999 and 2009
had
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb had appears to be unnecessary here.

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the preference of Australians who journeyed to the UK and US
risen
Wrong verb form
rose

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb risen. Consider changing it.

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moderately, at 60% and 33%
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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order.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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