IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Universities should accept equal members of male and female in every subject.Do you agree or disagree ?

#universities #members
Universities must accept
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 members of male and female students in every subject.I strongly
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
this
 and the advance will be discussed in the
forth coming
Correct your spelling
forthcoming
show examples
 paragraph. The importance of gender equality must be in
education
 and it promotes diversity among all and
also
prepare
Correct subject-verb agreement
prepares
show examples
 the adults to live in mutual relationship.There should be
a primary criteria
Correct the article-noun agreement
a primary criterion
primary criteria
show examples
 for all universities that
that
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
equal quota system to be followed.The role of universities must actively
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
 in encouraging the unrepresented genders in
education
.Educating all younger people earlier on gender equality will give the way to solve gender equality problems.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 students from remote areas are making
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
progress
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
buy
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
 achieving in all departments There are less number of people who
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
accepting
Wrong verb form
accept
show examples
this
 concept and they might be the older age who may not be aware of the importance of being equal in all
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
 there are many
advancement
Change to a plural noun
advancements
show examples
 in
education
 and technology there are some to refuse to give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic
education
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 all groups at the correct age.
This
 topic will be more
bored
Replace the word
boring
show examples
 and not
interested
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
 but
theis
Correct your spelling
this
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 basic need for all individuals and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly agree with the topic and everyone will
do
Correct pronoun usage
do it
show examples
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a more distinct introduction, body, and conclusion structure. This helps in logically organizing your ideas and arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to develop your main points more thoroughly by adding more detailed explanations and examples. This technique will make your argument more convincing.
Task Achievement
Work on your grammar and punctuation to improve clarity and professionalism of your writing. Frequent errors can distract readers from the content of your essay.
Task Achievement
You could provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This helps in clearly demonstrating how your ideas apply in real-world scenarios.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender balance
  • diversity
  • real-world workforce
  • quota system
  • merit
  • aptitude
  • university admissions
  • gender disparities
  • underrepresented genders
  • institutional policies
  • gender stereotypes
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • logistical issues
  • innovation
  • teamwork
What to do next:
Look at other essays: