Some people think that excessive use of smartphones badly affects a teenager’s literacy skills. Do you agree or disagree?

The problem of
overused
Wrong verb form
overusing
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smartphones
worsely
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worse
wisely
force
Wrong verb form
forcing
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unders
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under
a young education skills
Correct the article-noun agreement
young education skills
a young education skill
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is arguable.
this
essay
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
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with the statement
due to
the
Correct your spelling
reduction
reducion
Correct your spelling
reduction
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
mental health and
addicted
Replace the word
addiction
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to technology devices It is the fact that using a smartphone for
Correct article usage
the longterm
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longterm
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
causes lower mental health. The root of
this
is light from technology device
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each part should serve its purpose: introduction to present the topic and your stance, body paragraphs to support your opinion with reasons and examples, and a conclusion to summarize your argument.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points fully. Your essay needs to be developed with complete ideas and supported by relevant examples or evidence. Avoid overgeneralizations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Adopt a clear logical structure. Use paragraphs effectively to separate your ideas, and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by further explanation or examples.
General
Pay attention to your sentence structure and vocabulary. Aim for variety in both to express your ideas more effectively and to make your essay more engaging.
General
Review and correct grammatical errors. Your essay would benefit from careful proofreading to correct mistakes in grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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