Many manufactured food and drink products contain high amount of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree.
Due to
high
population in our global world Manufactured food and drink Correct article usage
the high
products
which contain large amount
of Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
sugar
can be causes
many Change the verb form
cause
health
problems
. Producer
have to Fix the agreement mistake
Producers
increasing
Change the verb form
increase
Correct article usage
the price
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
for
Change preposition
of
the
food and Correct article usage
apply
drinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
drink
products
that contraning suger
to be more expensive than the normal prices to encourage Correct your spelling
contain sugar
people
to consume less sugar
. In this
essay, I will discuss why I do not agree with this
idea.
First of all, all the products
is
made with Change the verb form
are
sugar
, this
can be
affect Unnecessary verb
apply
everyone
life. Not only can Change noun form
everyone's
cause
health
problems
. people
have to know how much they have to consume in a day, as I say all products
is containing
Wrong verb form
contain
sugar
such
as carbohidrate
. Too much taken of Correct your spelling
carbohydrate
carbohydrates
this
can be
Change the verb form
cause
cause
lots of healt
Correct your spelling
health
heart
problem
.
Second Change to a plural noun
problems
people
Add a missing verb
are concern
concern
that if Replace the word
concerned
price
is higher it will be more Add an article
the price
effecially
than Correct your spelling
efficient
lower
one. Example of organic agrricutural even Correct article usage
the lower
we
know that it is more valuable for Correct word choice
though we
health
, but
it Correct word choice
apply
very
rare to get Add a missing verb
is very
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
bacause
it Correct your spelling
because
take
Change the verb form
takes
lot
of time and Change the article
a lot
improssible
to get it all the time.
Correct your spelling
is impossible
Thirdly
and last
, as we know Change the word
lastly
that
consuming all Correct word choice
apply
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
og
Correct your spelling
of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
to
much Replace the word
too
than
body Correct word choice
apply
needs
can Verb problem
apply
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
cause
health
problems
, so people
have to control and consumed
less Wrong verb form
consume
that
usual. Correct word choice
than
Instead
of rising
up Correct your spelling
raising
prices
Add a comma
prices,
producer
can reduce all the ingredients which can Fix the agreement mistake
producers
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
cause
contermination
to the Correct your spelling
contamination
bodys
.
Correct your spelling
bodies
To sum up
, in my opinion, an increase in price is not a solution to decreasing medical problems
, instead
, we can find out
much better solutions.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by fonnfahh2402 on
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task response
Ensure your essay directly responds to the task question. For example, clearly stating if you agree or disagree with making sugary products more expensive to reduce consumption, and providing specific reasons and examples to support your position.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas logically, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and follows a clear structure: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas both within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. Consider using data, research findings, or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your arguments more convincively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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