The bar chart beow shows the percentage of Australian men and women in diffrent age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010,

The bar chart beow shows the percentage of Australian men and women in diffrent age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010,
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The provided bar graph depicts the percentage of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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and
female
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females
show examples
in Australia of disparate
age
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groups who were
invovled
Correct your spelling
involved
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regular physical activity in the year 2010. The graph shows that the
women
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are actively involved in recreational activities. It
gives
Verb problem
shows
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that the male members are healthier than the female. The girls between the
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age
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ages
show examples
15
Change preposition
of 15
show examples
-24 do less
workut
Correct your spelling
workout
work
than the
boysbetween
Correct your spelling
boys between
the
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
15
Change preposition
of 15
show examples
-24 .
However
Linking Words
,
women
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do
active
Correct quantifier usage
more active
show examples
physical activity than
men
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in adults. In 2010, the percentage of
women
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working out has been
raising
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rising
show examples
in
related
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relation
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to
men
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. The boys between the
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age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
15-24 had regular physical activity about 52%
whereas
Linking Words
girls had only 47%.
However
Linking Words
, the adults between the
age
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of 24- 34
was
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were
show examples
quite opposite to the previous one. The
men
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was
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were
show examples
not actively involved in the entertainment but the
women
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is
Wrong verb form
were
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active about 48%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
men
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and
women
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between the
age
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of 35-64, the
men
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had
less
Correct article usage
a less
show examples
active life than
women
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where the female members are active
about
Change preposition
in about
show examples
50% of all the
age
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groups.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the old males and females had equal
sedentry
Correct your spelling
sedentary
lives in the older years like 64 and above.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, women, men with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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