It is better for young adults to move away from their family home than to continue to live with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

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Choosing to move away from the family home in early adulthood is a noble decision. There is a big segment of youths who are in

Correct article usage

apply

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favour of getting away from their parents. Personally, I strongly believe that adult groups have

to begin

Linking Words

a new

life

Use synonyms

without families in order to develop their personalities. On the one hand, families always think about the future of their children. So, they encourage them to be independent for the rest of their

life

Use synonyms

by starting

live

Fix the infinitive

to live

show examples

in their own apartment.

To begin

Linking Words

with, once they move, directly their schedule of the day will change.

For example

Linking Words

, they will start cooking meals three times, make their bed tidy, manage their sleeping hours and wash their clothes. These habits are great enough to make the youths stronger

Change preposition

over

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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time.

Additionally

Linking Words

, setting

life

Use synonyms

without family helps to improve their skill against trouble. In

this

Linking Words

context, youths will be aware that

life

Use synonyms

is not a fairy tale.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, despite the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

valuable advantages, some consider that living far from the family house is harmful and has drawbacks. In more detail, some groups of youth lack courage, they depend totally on their parents.

As a result

Linking Words

, they will face difficulties

while

Linking Words

living alone. In their perspective they find cooking is a complicated skill.

This

Linking Words

is enough

prove

Replace the word

proof

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to make adults stay home. In conclusion, starting a new

life

Use synonyms

away from the original home is a bold step that especially encourages young youth to improve their personality.

Submitted by lho.purple on Wed Mar 13 2024

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task response

Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss in your essay. While your introduction mentions a nobility in the decision to move out, it could better outline the arguments you plan to present.

task response

Aim for a balanced argument in your essay. You've made a strong case for independence but ensure you also address counterarguments more deeply to provide a well-rounded essay.

coherence cohesion

Try to make your paragraphs flow more smoothly by using varied linking words and phrases. This will help to enhance the coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Support each main point with specific examples or evidence. While you have provided some examples, adding more specific details will strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and punctuation to improve the professional appearance of your essay. Watch out for repeated words and typographical errors such as 'the the valuable advantages'.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Personal growth
Financial independence
Problem-solving skills
Responsibilities
Interpersonal skills
Autonomy
Social network
Support system
Living expenses
Emotional resilience
Professional development
Educational pursuits

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It is better for young adults to move away from their family home than to continue to live with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people prefer to relax by doing physical activities, while others choose mental activities such as crossword puzzles or chess. Discuss the both views and include your own opinion.

One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the worker more. To what extent do you agree or disagree.