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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The map shows the plan of a library in 2001 and 2009. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The map shows the plan of a library in 2001 and 2009. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
The images demonstrate how a library transforms after some relocations in the next 8 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of different types of
books
Use synonyms
 witnessed a significant change with the addition of many kinds of
books
Use synonyms
 about various fields that would contribute a lot of information for students. In 2001, the librarian’s desk (S) was opposite the entrance, which was next to the stairs which was located
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the bottom right-hand corner. There were only three categories of
books
Use synonyms
, which were fiction, self-help and history. Self-help and history
books
Use synonyms
 were on the left-hand side of the room
while
Linking Words
 the fiction shelves were
at the end
Linking Words
 of the room, perpendicular to them.
Additionally
Linking Words
, 8 square
tables
Use synonyms
 were placed in the centre of the library next to the newspapers and periodicals stands which were located on the right of the library. After the rearrangement, the most noticeable change (S) was the expansion of many new fields
such
Linking Words
 as economics, law, kitchen and children’s
books
Use synonyms
. In the centre, 8 square
tables
Use synonyms
 were replaced by 4 rectangle
tables
Use synonyms
. Fiction shelves were relocated to the left-hand side to make room for children's
books
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, a children’s area, which was dedicated for kids to play, was added between these shelves and
tables
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, films and
DVDs
Fix the agreement mistake
DVD
show examples
 stand replaced the newspaper and periodicals. 2 new computers were added next to the film and
DVDs
Change the noun form
DVD
show examples
 stands, near the stairs.
Finally
Linking Words
, the librarian’s desk, the entrance and the stairs remained unchanged.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, tables with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-service machines
  • computer stations
  • digital resources
  • book sections
  • fiction, non-fiction, reference
  • café area
  • repositioned
  • user preferences
  • management strategies
  • children's area
  • youth engagement
  • educational activities
  • meeting rooms
  • collaborative spaces
  • community events
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