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Writing Samples
Band 4

The map shows the plan of a library in 2001 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The images demonstrate the layout of a library floor in 2001 and the transformation of it after some amendments after 8 years.
Overall
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,
while
Linking Words
 the most
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
 changes were the addition of various
Use synonyms
books
Fix the agreement mistake
book
show examples
 collections, video resources, and some digital facilities, the layout of the
room
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 withness minimal alternations. In 2001, There were only three categories of
books
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, which were fiction, self-help and history. Self-help and history
books
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situated
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were situated
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 next to
eachother
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each other
, on the left-hand
side
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 of the
room
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while
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 the fiction shelves were
at the end
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 of the
room
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, perpendicular to them. In the middle, 8 square tables were placed in 2 rows, next to the newspapers and periodicals
stands
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stand
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 on the right
side
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 of the library. The librarian’s desk was opposite the entrance at the bottom, and the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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stairs
was
Change the verb form
were
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on
Change preposition
in
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its
Change the word
the
show examples
 right-hand corner. After the rearrangement, the most noticeable change was the expansion of
books
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 in many new fields
such
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 as economics, law, kitchen and children’s which were located on the left-hand
side
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sheves
Correct your spelling
shelves
. Fictions were relocated to the left
side
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 to make
room
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 for children's
books
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.
In addition
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, a children’s area, which was dedicated for kids to play, was added in front of
kid's
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kids'
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sheves
Correct your spelling
shelves
 and all tables which were replaced by 4 large
retangular
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rectangular
 ones. On the other
side
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 of the
room
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,
films
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film
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 and
DVDs
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DVD
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 stands replaced the newspapers and periodicals. and two new computers were added next to them, near the stairs.
Finally
Linking Words
, the librarian’s desk, the entrance and the stairs remained unchanged.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, room, side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-service machines
  • computer stations
  • digital resources
  • book sections
  • fiction, non-fiction, reference
  • café area
  • repositioned
  • user preferences
  • management strategies
  • children's area
  • youth engagement
  • educational activities
  • meeting rooms
  • collaborative spaces
  • community events
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