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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Smmarise te information by selecting and reporting the main feautures and make comparasions where relevant.

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Smmarise te information by selecting and reporting the main feautures and make comparasions where relevant.
#information #percentage #british #people #money #charity #age #range #years #smmarise #te #feautures #comparasions
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The information about donating money
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 British with different age groups during the
years
Use synonyms
 1990 and 2010 is depicted by the bar graph.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most striking feature of the given chart is that adults below 50
years
Use synonyms
 of age donated more in the former year,
while
Linking Words
 in the latter year, individuals above 50
years
Use synonyms
 old did more charities. Taking a cursory glance, it can be clearly manifested that in 1990 youngsters gave just above 15% money to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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charities
whereas
Linking Words
 nearly 5%
charities
Change preposition
of charities
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 were given in the year 2010. Again, young
people
Use synonyms
done
Verb problem
made
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 more
donations
Use synonyms
 in 1990 which accounts for 30% than
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
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, when
donations
Use synonyms
 were just below 25%. In 1990 and 2010, there was a significant difference of 7% in terms of money giving between the
donars
Correct your spelling
donors
 (36-50)
years
Use synonyms
 old. Moving to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
further
Linking Words
 details, old
people
Use synonyms
 above 51
years
Use synonyms
 old were more kind;
therefore
Linking Words
, in 1990, 35% elderly made
donations
Use synonyms
, whilst just below 40%
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donations
Change preposition
of donations
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 were made in 2010.
However
Linking Words
, a similar trend was again followed by the elder
people
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 of age 65+
years
Use synonyms
 old, where a slight difference of 5% in
donations
Use synonyms
 was seen in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by navkiranji on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, years, donations with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Charitable contributions
  • Demographic segmentation
  • Age range/bracket
  • Philanthropic behavior
  • Trend analysis
  • Statistical comparison
  • Donation patterns
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Generational differences
  • Percentage increase/decrease
  • Decade-on-decade comparison
  • Financial altruism
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