IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The movement of people from villages to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

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Nowadyas
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
, urbanization is one of
Add an article
a phenomenon
the phenomenon
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phenomenon
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomena
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that is
Linking Words
 created by
condition
Correct article usage
the condition
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 of
fulfill
Replace the word
fulfilling
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human's
Change noun form
human
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need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
. The
migrataion
Correct your spelling
migration
 of
people
Use synonyms
 from rural
areas
Use synonyms
 to urban
areas
Use synonyms
 for work is more intensified recently as
people
Use synonyms
 want to get a bigger opportunity for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 job.
Hovewer
Correct your spelling
However
, it might cause severe
impact
Use synonyms
 in both
areas
Use synonyms
. On one side, in urban
areas
Use synonyms
, the more
people
Use synonyms
 come
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 that cities, it will increase the population density, as
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one unit of area
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will
has
Wrong verb form
have
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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more
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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lived
Wrong verb form
live
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. For
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 facts, it will
impact
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
creating more job demand.
Hovewer
Correct your spelling
However
, the existing company in that
cities
Fix the agreement mistake
city
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 is limited, so the supply and demand of jobs will be mismatched.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if there are part of
people
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 that just be unemployed, it will
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
 more economic
gap
Fix the agreement mistake
gaps
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, and it will increase the poverty level, as the unemployment rate will be increased. Not only that, it will
also
Linking Words
 decrease the price of goods so that
inflation
Correct article usage
the inflation
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 rate will be
decresed
Correct your spelling
decreased
.
For
Change preposition
As
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 consequence, the
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
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 demand will fall and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic growth will slowly,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
potentially
creating
Change the verb form
create
be creating
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recession
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a recession
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. On
Correct article usage
the other
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other
Change the wording
another
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 side, in rural
areas
Use synonyms
, if
people
Use synonyms
 leave
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
villages massively, it will create a shortage of
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
. It
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 serious
impact
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 villages, as it
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreases
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population
Correct article usage
the population
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. It will create a bigger
impact
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 rural economics and
impact
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 to wage inflation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and potentially has a multiplier
impact
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 goods and services
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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.
This
Linking Words
 will
downgrading
Change the verb form
downgrade
be downgrading
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 the level of
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 welfare as inflation
going
Wrong verb form
goes
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 up. To solve these problems, all
element
Fix the agreement mistake
elements
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 of
nation
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the nation
a nation
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 need to collaborate. Central and regional
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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 should support the solution. They should make the regulation climate to be more attractive to
people
Use synonyms
 to stay in their own
areas
Use synonyms
. It can be realized by providing programs
such
Linking Words
 as
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 an industry in that
Use synonyms
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
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 based on the resources that their
areas
Use synonyms
 have, like natural resources.
Government
Add an article
The government
show examples
also
Linking Words
 need to increase minimum
wages
Change the noun form
wage
show examples
 regulation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 those
areas
Use synonyms
 to
level
Correct article usage
a level
show examples
 that
people
Use synonyms
 want to stay.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the diversification of national strategic
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 to improve economics
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to
accelerated
Add a missing verb
be accelerated
show examples
. In conclusion,
role
Add an article
the role
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 of government is critical
to manage
Change preposition
in managing
show examples
 the migration of
people
Use synonyms
 from rural
areas
Use synonyms
 to urban
areas
Use synonyms
wether
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
 it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 an economic
impact
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 population diversification.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the key points you will discuss, and include a concise conclusion summarizing your arguments and recommendations.
Logical Structure
To enhance logical structure, use clear paragraphing. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence that ties back to the essay question.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with more specific examples or evidence. This will make your arguments more convincing and relevant to the topic.
Complete Response
Respond thoroughly to all parts of the question. Make sure you address both the problems and measures in equal depth to fully meet the task requirement.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify your ideas by elaborating on them with more detail or examples. Avoid overly general statements by focusing on specific issues and solutions.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Incorporate real-world examples or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate the issues and solutions you discuss. This will make your essay more engaging and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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