At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults,compared with a number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages

In our rapid world, the residents of some
countriesare
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countries are
countries
Add a missing verb
have alarge
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alarge
Correct your spelling
a large
large
proportion of young and adults,
these
Correct word choice
and these
show examples
quantities compared with the figure for the older population. These two groups produce advantages and
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
disadvantages. In
this
essay, I will compare these groups and find whether the main solution outweighs
this
or not. On the one hand,the new generation provides new skills and
also
develops the difference in pieces of knowledge between the two generations.
For instance
, the studies at university change every year,these results can be visible in ordinary life when educators use applications for study and give assignments with an opportunity to do
this
online.
Furthermore
, If compare
this
study with older methods,it is clearly seen that young
people
such
as teenagers and adults have more opportunities and abilities to attain higher levels of success and education.
On the other hand
, the older population have unavailable skills that they achieved through their experience in life when they did not have any type of gadgets and they produced their work and studied by themselves.
For example
, 50 years ago
people
could achieve their goals by leaning on their bits of knowledge if they lost the way they could communicate with other
people
and
this
method could have helped to have great contributions of communications skills, and
also
approach
people
to make new connections.
To sum up
, in my point of view the new generation has a great chance to show the advantages, because of the new system of knowledge and rules in the common world and
also
outweigh the disadvantages of the older population.
Submitted by batirka06 on

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task achievement
Consider providing a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss. This will give your essay a stronger direction and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to clearly show the relationship between your ideas and to help the essay flow more smoothly. For instance, instead of just 'On the one hand... On the other hand...', include connectors like 'Furthermore', 'However', 'Despite this', etc.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples or data where possible. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive. Consider using studies, surveys, or concrete incidents to back up your claims.
task achievement
Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and clearly states your position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This reinforcement helps readers understand your final stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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