The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reportion the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reportion the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
the rate of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
who lives in
cities
of four different nations (Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia) from 1970 to 2020, with prospects for 2030 and 2040. At the beginning of the given period, the percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
who live in
cities
in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
had
a
Change the article
the
show examples
highest figure among
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
countries, which recorded over 30%.
However
, from 1980, the rate of
Malaysia
Replace the word
Malaysian
show examples
population
who live
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
cities
gradually increased, recorded at about 80%, which will have a significant
increase
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
to 1970. The rate of Thailand who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
in
cities
rose in a similar way to Malaysia.
Although
the figure of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
had a
briefly
Change the word
brief
show examples
increase
in 1990,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it fell to about 40% in 2010. In the case of Indonesia, the
population
living in
cities
rose steadily, and it will
increase
over
Change preposition
by over
show examples
40% in 2040.
Overall
, it is seen that the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
all counties rose and will
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increase
from 2030 to 2040.
Submitted by heoeunsae on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words population, cities, increase with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: