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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reportion the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reportion the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #summarise #reportion #features #comparisons
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The graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
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 the rate of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
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 who lives in
cities
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 of four different nations (Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia) from 1970 to 2020, with prospects for 2030 and 2040. At the beginning of the given period, the percentage of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
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 who live in
cities
Use synonyms
 in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 had
a
Change the article
the
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 highest figure among
four
Correct article usage
the four
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 countries, which recorded over 30%.
However
Linking Words
, from 1980, the rate of
Malaysia
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Malaysian
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 who live
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 gradually increased, recorded at about 80%, which will have a significant
increase
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compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
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 to 1970. The rate of Thailand who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
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 in
cities
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 rose in a similar way to Malaysia.
Although
Linking Words
 the figure of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 had a
briefly
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brief
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increase
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 in 1990,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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it fell to about 40% in 2010. In the case of Indonesia, the
population
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 living in
cities
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 rose steadily, and it will
increase
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over
Change preposition
by over
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 40% in 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is seen that the figure
of
Change preposition
for
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 all counties rose and will
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increase
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 from 2030 to 2040.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, cities, increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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