It Is Better For Students To Live Away From Home During Their University Studies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an opinion that university students should live apart from their
parents
. Personally, I agree with
this
statement. From my point of view, child separation makes them independent and responsible for their life choices.
Moreover
, living away from home helps to improve relationships between
children
and their
parents
. In fact, teenagers must adapt to adulthood and the best way to do
this
is to learn to cope with problems without parental help. Actually, when
children
live in another house or even in another city from their
parents
they understand that they can rely only on themselves in some cases.
For example
, students need to plan their budget, buy products, pay the bill and do all household chores. It teaches them not only to be independent but
also
to appreciate
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
and
results
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
of their work. One more important argument for living without
parents
is that staying separately from loved ones builds a sense of unity with family members. Probably, it works because
parents
begin
Add the particle
begin to
show examples
miss their
children
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
distance
Correct article usage
a distance
show examples
or adolescents want to feel love and support from their mother and father.
Consequently
, their relationship becomes closer.
Moreover
, if
parents
and
children
live in different cities, they do not get on relatives’ nerves.
For instance
, when I moved to another city, I stopped
quarreling
Change the spelling
quarrelling
show examples
with my sister and understood how much my
parents
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
for me.
As a result
, there have been improvements in our relations. In conclusion, I strongly believe that students need to live without their
parents
during their university years. It is an important decision if
parents
want to raise
respectable
Add an article
a respectable
show examples
and responsible person.
Furthermore
,
this
has a positive impact on
child’s
Fix the agreement mistake
children’s
show examples
character and their attitudes
with
Change preposition
toward
show examples
family.
Submitted by julykryuchkova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay presents a clear position and adequately supports this with relevant examples, consider delving deeper into counterarguments to present a more balanced view. This will enrich your discussion and demonstrate an ability to evaluate different perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay benefits from a logical flow and clear paragraphing, which aids readability. To enhance coherence further, focus on tightening the connections between your main points and the supporting examples. Explicitly linking your examples back to the main argument in each paragraph will strengthen your argumentation.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • personal responsibility
  • household chores
  • cultivates
  • social skills
  • broadens one's network
  • diverse cultures
  • homesickness
  • emotional distress
  • financially burdensome
  • utilities
  • stress and distraction
  • future transitions
  • adaptable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: