Some people believe that it is the best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Whilst some
people
believe in accepting a difficult condition of
life
,
others
believe that every person deserves
a
Remove the article
apply
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hope for a better
life
condition. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
everyone has a
choice
and certain reasons like
unsatisfactory
Add an article
an unsatisfactory
the unsatisfactory
show examples
job
or shortage of money cannot be a serious problem. On the one hand, the humans are very sociable. Most of them could depend on
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advice or moral support on a regular basis. But, in
fact
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fact,
show examples
it can lead to
indicisiveness
Correct your spelling
indecisiveness
. Frequently, some of
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
show examples
of
people
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
used to
ask
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asking
show examples
for
an advice
Remove the article
advice
a piece of advice
a bit of advice
show examples
and can easily go by
others
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others'
other's
show examples
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
. It kills the strive and confidence of individuals.
For example
: some parents could instill their values
to
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in
show examples
their children by enrolling them
something
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on something
show examples
they don't like, in some
cases
Add a comma
cases,
show examples
they are forced to have unsatisfactory
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. Some
people
suggest just
to accept
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accepting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fate.
On the other hand
,
others
believe that problems like unsatisfactory
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
can be
dealed
Verb problem
dealt with
show examples
. It all depends on
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
ambition of individuals.
People
who are forced to have
might have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
changing or if someone has financial hardship could just find additional work. In my view, everyone has responsibility for their own
life
, and everything happening around us is just the result of our
choice
. You can just sit and do nothing but it's always
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
best to try something. In conclusion, many
people
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
that humans should accept the bad
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
of
life
. And
others
believe it's always right to have a
choice
and try something. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
trying to do something for a better
life
is always the right
choice
. We just need to move. As Buddha said "
nothing
Capitalize word
Nothing
show examples
is impossible"
Submitted by Kanapiaulydoshan on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a logical flow between paragraphs with clear topic sentences. This helps in linking your ideas seamlessly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using transitions to enhance flow and readability.
Task Achievement
Clarify and expand your main points with specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Task Achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your thesis to establish a clear direction for your essay.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your conclusion summarises your main points and reiterates your opinion effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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