Some people believe that there are many reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree

There are numerous
factors
that drive our motivation to
work
for the same
company
for a long time period. Whilst proponents of
a
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
notion believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
finance is the main reason that engages employees at
work
, others share an opposing view
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
say
Verb problem
apply
show examples
they claim the number of
factors
that influence an
employee
to be loyal
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
far more than one. It is my contention that despite there are many points that can leave a significant impact on
individuals
' lives, one of them can be elicited depending on the conditions. First and foremost, I think the most important
factors
that assist
individuals
to be part of a
company
originates
Correct subject-verb agreement
originate
show examples
from different hygiene
factors
such
as
work
environment
,
employee
benefits and future prospects. To exemplify
this
statement, a person can still submit a resignation letter even though he/she makes a significant amount of money
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
factors
like
toxic
Correct article usage
a toxic
show examples
environment
and
dead-end
Correct article usage
a dead-end
show examples
position.
Furthermore
, particularly the young generation is motivated by
Correct article usage
the fulfillment
show examples
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
of modern technologies and trends to blend in with the
environment
.
Moreover
, money has become a salient factor that impacts
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
decision to continue their career with a
company
. A competitive salary not
meets
Rephrase
only meets
show examples
basic needs but
also
serves
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
tangible
receognition
Correct your spelling
recognition
of one's skills and knowledge.
However
, anticipating
employee
motivation solely with monetary rewards falls insufficient on
pursuading
Correct your spelling
persuading
them to stay for longer periods.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
individuals
also
seek supplementary benefits
such
as business culture and development opportunities at
work
. The potential for development and professional growth is a powerful motivator, as it aligns with personal aspirations and the desire for self-improvement. In conclusion,
while
money is a rudimentary motivator, it is not the
solo
Correct your spelling
sole
show examples
factor that binds employees to a
company
. A holistic approach encompassing professional advancement, a nurturing
work
environment
, and personal development opportunities is essential for sustained
employee
retention.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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task achievement
To strengthen your essay, consider providing more concrete examples and detailed explanations. This can be done by integrating specific situations where financial or non-financial factors have significantly influenced an employee's decision to stay with a company. It would make your arguments more tangible and persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between your paragraphs and within them. Using a wider range of linking words and phrases can enhance the flow of your essay, making it more coherent. Additionally, maintaining a consistent focus within each paragraph helps in preserving the cohesion of your argument.
task achievement
Incorporating counterarguments or acknowledging the opposing viewpoint before refuting it can add depth to your discussion. This strategy demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic and strengthens your position.
coherence and cohesion
Try to avoid general or vague statements. Be as specific as possible in your claims and support them with clear reasoning or evidence. This can help in making your essay more coherent and convincing.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Motivation
  • Stability
  • Career progression
  • Advancement opportunities
  • Work environment
  • Work culture
  • Align with values
  • Benefits
  • Perks
  • Job satisfaction
  • Engaging
  • Challenging
  • Fulfilling
  • Colleagues
  • Relationships
  • Company loyalty
  • Ethos
  • Personal investment
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