IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

#students #science #subjects #university #countries #effects #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A small number of people choose their future professions related to exact sciences. The reason for
this
 is that
science
 subjects are challenging to learn and improve in the fields of
science
 in recent times. It may lead to a shortage of specialists in hard
spheres
such
 as medicine and engineering. Nowadays,
students
 start to enrol on universities after graduating from high school.
Furthermore
, they hesitate about choosing their
specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
show examples
 in a bachelor's degree. Focusing on receiving the highest wage
according to
 modern standards of living, they decided to gain a qualification in the most demanded professions
such
 as IT programmers, designers and SMM specialists.
Thus
, these modern
spheres
 are where
students
 can improve their necessary skills in a short time. Despite all the conveniences of modern fields where people can develop their skills, climb the career ladder and gain a decent income from work
that is
 not related to difficult
science
 subjects, it might result in a deficit of experts in
science
 , engineering and medicine technologies.
Moreover
, these fields need non-stop development and new vital discoveries for the bright future of the Earth and human existence.
For instance
,
according to
 a recent publication of The World Health System, nearly 25% of
students
 all over the world enrol in academies of medicine and engineering
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 may lead to catastrophic consequences in these
spheres
 of
science
 in the future. In conclusion, the number of
students
 who decide to get knowledge in exact sciences and
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
in the selected profession is declining from year to year.
This
 is because of difficulties in learning sciences , so in that case
this
 problem leads to difficulty in improvements in the
spheres
 of
science
.
Submitted by raxdiana4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Focus on providing more specific examples to support your points. This will help in demonstrating a better understanding of the topic and strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure to improve the flow and readability of your essay. Using a mix of complex and simple sentences can make your writing more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. This helps in maintaining logical progression throughout the essay.
task achievement
Try to explicitly address both parts of the question in a balanced manner. This involves discussing the reasons for your topic and the effects on society with equal depth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • promotion
  • opportunities
  • role models
  • lucrative
  • employment
  • gender stereotypes
  • societal norms
  • access to information
  • technological stagnation
  • shortage
  • skilled professionals
  • innovation
  • healthcare sector
  • workforce
  • global competitiveness
  • advancements
  • economic growth
  • public health services
  • environmental sciences
  • combat climate change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: