IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart provides information about the level of female unemployment in four parts of the United Kingdom between the years of 2013 to 2014

The bar chart provides information about the level of female unemployment in four parts of the United Kingdom between the years of 2013 to 2014
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The chart compares data about the level of women
unemployment
Use synonyms
 in four areas of the United Kingdom over a
two year
Add a hyphen
two-year
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 period, from 2013 to 2014. Most areas experienced
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 women
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
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 in 2013 compared to the year after. Only Scotland experienced the other way around.
While
Linking Words
England
Use synonyms
become
Wrong verb form
became
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 the area with the highest
rate
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 of female
unemployment
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 in 2013, Scotland replaced
England
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 in 2014. 2013 witnessed
England
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 as the area with the highest rates of unemployed females, and Wales experienced the lowest
rate
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 of women
unemployment
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, 6,8% and 5.4% respectively . In the following year, Scotland became the country with the highest
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
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 replacing
England
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.
While
Linking Words
 North Ireland was the area with the lowest
rate
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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female
unemployment
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, rate, england with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rate
  • temporal trends
  • regional variations
  • economic policies
  • industry growth/decline
  • educational opportunities
  • social implications
  • gender equality
  • workforce participation
  • family income
  • employment opportunities
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