Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

It is argued that quite a few

children

spend many hours looking at their smartphone screens every day.

This

phenomenon occurs within specific social contexts, and I believe it constitutes a negative development. On the one hand, there are several reasons why

this

is the case. In the first place,

smartphones

have become a modern-day pacifier. As these babies grow older, they become accustomed to looking at the screens, often without realizing that

this

behaviour has become a habit and may develop into an addiction. In the second place,

children

use

smartphones

extensively because they offer a wide range of features and context. Not only entertaining media

such

as playing games, watching funny videos or searching the web

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

learning resources like e-books, study materials or academic information are offered via

smartphones

. Without

smartphones

, it is like navigating a room without light. Despite the plausible reasons aforementioned, I believe that

this

behaviour is a negative development. First of all, it harms

children

’s health. Not only does excessive screen

time

damage

children

’s vision

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

it promotes physical inactivity, leading to sedentary lifestyles and increasing the risk of obesity and other diseases.

Second,

the activity reduces people's skills. The more

time

children

spend

time

on screens, the fewer opportunities they have for face-to-face communication with others. If

children

perceive smartphone use as their primary form of entertainment, their social skills may deteriorate over

time

. In conclusion,

children

regard

smartphones

as their entertaining and studying companions, leading to extensive screen

time

However

, I strongly contend that

this

situation is not as bright as it seems since it affects

children

negatively in terms of well-being and interpersonal interaction.

Submitted by 100hyunjun on Fri Mar 15 2024

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and some people say that this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future all cars,buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside theses vehicles will be passagers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?