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Writing Samples
Band 5

In most countries, young people from a large proportion of those who are unemployed. Why this is the case, and what can be done to solve the problem?

#countries #people #proportion #case
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Nowadays all around the world, a great number of youngsters are jobless. There are two main reasons, lack of
education
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 and
skills
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 and many jobs are done by computers. A possible solution might be to implement new policies about fostering the
education
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 system and supporting workforce transition. One of the reasons that
a
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apply
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society is facing young individuals’ unemployment might be a defective
education
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 system
which
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in which
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 some essential work requirements are not taught to students in a way which would be practical for them. To put it in another world, pupils are often taking in and memorizing their subjects
instead
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 of experiencing their lessons. To tackle
this
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 issue, the government ought to implement better strategies to enhance both schooling and tertiary
education
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, which means
that educate
Wrong verb form
educating
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 more practical
skills
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. Not only does it make students versatile, but it
also
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 helps them to adapt themselves to the needs of a fast-changing society. Another problem that needs to be considered is automation jobs. Nowadays,
due to
Linking Words
 new technologies a great number of tasks are being done by computers
therefore
Linking Words
, some companies and factories have downsized their employees. One possible solution might be for the government to make some rules to support redundant workers who are displaced by automation. It might be unemployment benefits or authorities could hold some classes and workshops to develop their knowledge and
skills
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 and it would make them more knowledgeable about their sphere of work. In conclusion, youngster unemployment is an increasing issue because of the lack of
skills
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 and improvements in technology. The government is required to tackle
this
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 matter by implementing rules about
education
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 systems and support redundant by special plans.
Submitted by Pbaharlou70 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay, including distinct paragraphs for each idea.
coherence cohesion
Include an introductory paragraph that clearly states the topic, and a conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your position.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more detailed examples and evidence. This will strengthen your argument and make your writing more persuasive.
task achievement
Fully address the essay prompt by discussing both why unemployment among young people is a problem and providing detailed solutions to this issue.
task achievement
Use a variety of sentence structures and precise vocabulary to clearly and accurately express your ideas.
task achievement
Incorporate specific, real-world examples to support your statements and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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