Many elderly people no longer looked after by their families but there are put in care home or nursing home. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #families #care #home

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Nowadays

edged

Verb problem

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are

taking

Wrong verb form

taken

show examples

care

Change preposition

of by

show examples

nurses in nursing

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

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instead

Linking Words

of their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

Although

Linking Words

there are

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of drawbacks involved

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, the benefits accruing to elder

people

Use synonyms

are by no means negligible. On the plus side, the advantages for the

people

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looked after in care

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

are manifold.

To begin

Linking Words

with, spending

time

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with other elder

people

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allows them to feel less lonely in comparison

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when

Change preposition

to when

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they are kept at their working

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

homes. In

another word

Fix the agreement mistake

other words

show examples

, adults often are at work and do not have sufficient

time

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to either talk or allocate to their edged parents. As an example, elder individuals have shared

room

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rooms

show examples

in nursing homes and they spend their retirement

time

Use synonyms

with others by talking or playing board games.

However

Linking Words

, the downsides cannot be disregarded. The most axiomatic concern is about losing the feeling of

independency

Replace the word

independence

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in a senile person.

That is

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to say, because they are always

under watched

Add a hyphen

under-watched

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by nurses and other staff, they might feel that they have no control

Change preposition

over

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the daily routine and they should ask for everything that

are

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show examples

required. A good illustration of

this

Linking Words

is they are not allowed to go out of the home and if they want something they have to demand it from their family or nurses. In conclusion, putting old

people

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in care homes can be both rewarding and problematic.

While

Linking Words

it might help to reduce their loneliness and free

time

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

emotion

Fix the agreement mistake

emotions

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and

independency

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independence

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may be injured.

Submitted by Pbaharlou70 on Fri Mar 15 2024

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task achievement

You’ve responded to the task by presenting advantages and disadvantages. However, more development and specific examples of your ideas would enhance your essay. For task achievement, aim to thoroughly explore each point with examples and implications. This makes your argument more convincing and comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a noticeable structure, which is good, but your paragraphs could be more logically connected. Use a range of cohesive devices wisely and try to vary your linkers more. This would improve the flow from one idea to another, aiding your reader's understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Many elderly people no longer looked after by their families but there are put in care home or nursing home. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

In some countries, some people are renting accomodation, while other are buying their own homes. Does renting accomodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place?

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environmental. To what extent do you agree or disagree?