IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
#diagrams #show #changes #place #west #park #school #construction
The diagrams illustrate how West
Park
 Secondary
School
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 changed during 60 years.
It is clear that
 there are significant changes
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 making
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
car
park
, some facilities and so on. In 1950, there was a main road in the north of the map.
Also
, the
school
 was a single building
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
located along the main road and
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right of the houses. The
play ground
Correct your spelling
playground
show examples
 was located right behind the
school
 building
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right of the farmland. Thirsty years later in 1980, the houses were demolished and
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
car
park
 was replaced
as well as
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 science block was built. The
school
 was renovated and turned into
main
Correct article usage
a main
show examples
school
.
Also
, farmland was removed and
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 field was constructed. The playground and main road remain unchanged. In 2010,
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
park
 was extended
Correct word choice
and
show examples
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the land of the sports field was added to
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
car
park
.
Furthermore
, a third of the playground
Add a missing verb
is asighned
show examples
asighned
Correct your spelling
assigned
designed
 to
sports
Add an article
the sports
show examples
 field.
Science
Correct article usage
The science
show examples
 block and main building remained unchanged
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, school, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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