IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
#diagrams #show #changes #place #west #park #school #construction
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The diagrams illustrate how West
Park
Use synonyms
 Secondary
School
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 changed during 60 years.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 there are significant changes
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 making
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
, some facilities and so on. In 1950, there was a main road in the north of the map.
Also
Linking Words
, the
school
Use synonyms
 was a single building
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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located along the main road and
in
Change preposition
on
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 the right of the houses. The
play ground
Correct your spelling
playground
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 was located right behind the
school
Use synonyms
 building
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right of the farmland. Thirsty years later in 1980, the houses were demolished and
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 was replaced
as well as
Linking Words
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 science block was built. The
school
Use synonyms
 was renovated and turned into
main
Correct article usage
a main
show examples
school
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, farmland was removed and
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 field was constructed. The playground and main road remain unchanged. In 2010,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 was extended
Correct word choice
and
show examples
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the land of the sports field was added to
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a third of the playground
Add a missing verb
is asighned
show examples
asighned
Correct your spelling
assigned
designed
 to
sports
Add an article
the sports
show examples
 field.
Science
Correct article usage
The science
show examples
 block and main building remained unchanged
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, school, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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