Many parents today pay for private tutors to teach their children after school hours. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is clear that
children
suffer
study
Change preposition
from study
show examples
pressure
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days. A large number of
parents
employ personal tutors for their sons and daughters during evening and weekend classes to Improve their
kid's
Change noun form
kids'
show examples
academic performance
However
, I think
this
is a negative
development
because it affects
offspring's
Correct article usage
the offspring's
show examples
emotional growth
along with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
have to spend
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
extra
money
. A
further
explanation will be presented in
this
essay. To commence with, going private
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
brings negative
development
to
children
because they do not have time for
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
show examples
and play, as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
consequence, they might
affect
Wrong verb form
be affected
show examples
psychologically
such
as depression.
This
is because kids Spend more than seven to eight hours in
school
, So they
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
need some
relaxations
Fix the agreement mistake
relaxation
show examples
after
school
otherwise
children
are being
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pressured.
For example
, Psychologist Said that offspring's Social Skills and
imgination
Correct your spelling
imagination
Power Can
affect
Wrong verb form
be affected
show examples
when they face study pressure.
Hence
, evening
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
causes negative consequences
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
kids.
Furthermore
,
parents
have to spend more
money
on their
sons
Change noun form
son's
sons'
show examples
and daughters'
education
besides
school
fees.
This
is because schools collect more
money
from
parents
as
school
fees, so
parents
should not pay
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
extra
money
for improving
Change preposition
to improve
show examples
their
kid's
Change noun form
kids'
show examples
education
unlike they except from schools to provide and enhance
student's
Fix the agreement mistake
students'
show examples
studies.
For instance
, Indian
parents
always send
then
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
little ones to private
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
and they pay an extra amount
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
education
.
In other words
, wealthy families can only send their kids to
tation
Correct your spelling
tuition
but middle class and lower class. offsprings do not have a chance to get a standard of
education
,
Then
this
trend brings negative
development
. In conclusion, private
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
can affect
children
's emotional growth
as well as
social skills and imagination powers. I think
parents
employ
tutor
Fix the agreement mistake
tutors
show examples
for their kid's
education
after
school
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. a negative
development
because
parents
have to spend
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
extra
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
toddler's
Fix the agreement mistake
toddlers'
show examples
education
. I hope
this
brings plenty of adverse effects on society.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring your essay more logically. Each paragraph should introduce one main idea, supported by specific examples or reasons. Creating clearer connections between your ideas will also enhance the readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
For better task achievement, ensure you completely address the question by presenting a balanced view of the topic when required, and by providing relevant examples to support your arguments. Try to deepen your analysis and include a variety of specific examples.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: