IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many parents today pay for private tutors to teach their children after school hours. Do you think this is a positive or negative development？

#parents #tutors #children #school #hours #development？
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is clear that
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children
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 suffer
study
Change preposition
from study
show examples
 pressure
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days. A large number of
parents
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 employ personal tutors for their sons and daughters during evening and weekend classes to Improve their
kid's
Change noun form
kids'
show examples
 academic performance
However
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, I think
this
Linking Words
 is a negative
development
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 because it affects
offspring's
Correct article usage
the offspring's
show examples
 emotional growth
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along with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
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 have to spend
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
extra
money
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. A
further
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 explanation will be presented in
this
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 essay. To commence with, going private
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tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
 brings negative
development
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 to
children
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 because they do not have time for
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
show examples
 and play, as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 consequence, they might
affect
Wrong verb form
be affected
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 psychologically
such
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 as depression.
This
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 is because kids Spend more than seven to eight hours in
school
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, So they
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
need some
relaxations
Fix the agreement mistake
relaxation
show examples
 after
school
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otherwise
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
 are being
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pressured.
For example
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, Psychologist Said that offspring's Social Skills and
imgination
Correct your spelling
imagination
 Power Can
affect
Wrong verb form
be affected
show examples
 when they face study pressure.
Hence
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, evening
Use synonyms
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
 causes negative consequences
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 kids.
Furthermore
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,
parents
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 have to spend more
money
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 on their
sons
Change noun form
son's
sons'
show examples
 and daughters'
education
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besides
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school
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 fees.
This
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 is because schools collect more
money
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 from
parents
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 as
school
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 fees, so
parents
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 should not pay
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
extra
money
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for improving
Change preposition
to improve
show examples
 their
kid's
Change noun form
kids'
show examples
education
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 unlike they except from schools to provide and enhance
student's
Fix the agreement mistake
students'
show examples
 studies.
For instance
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, Indian
parents
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 always send
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then
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 little ones to private
Use synonyms
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
 and they pay an extra amount
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
education
Use synonyms
.
In other words
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, wealthy families can only send their kids to
tation
Correct your spelling
tuition
 but middle class and lower class. offsprings do not have a chance to get a standard of
education
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,
Then
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this
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 trend brings negative
development
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. In conclusion, private
Use synonyms
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 can affect
children
Use synonyms
's emotional growth
as well as
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 social skills and imagination powers. I think
parents
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 employ
tutor
Fix the agreement mistake
tutors
show examples
 for their kid's
education
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 after
school
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. a negative
development
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 because
parents
Use synonyms
 have to spend
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
extra
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
toddler's
Fix the agreement mistake
toddlers'
show examples
education
Use synonyms
. I hope
this
Linking Words
 brings plenty of adverse effects on society.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring your essay more logically. Each paragraph should introduce one main idea, supported by specific examples or reasons. Creating clearer connections between your ideas will also enhance the readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
For better task achievement, ensure you completely address the question by presenting a balanced view of the topic when required, and by providing relevant examples to support your arguments. Try to deepen your analysis and include a variety of specific examples.
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