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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The given graph shows the main sources of energy for USA in 1980 and 1990.

The given graph shows the main sources of energy for USA in 1980 and 1990.
#sources #energy #usa
The pie charts illustrate the 5
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of
energy
 sources for
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 for a decade, from 1980 to 1990. The
energy
 sources included oil, natural gas, coal, hydroelectric
power
 and nuclear
power
.
The oil
Correct article usage
Oil
show examples
 was
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
energy
 source /
42
Change preposition
at 42
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
/ in 1980
whereas
, it dropped to
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
33
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1990.
However
, it was still accounted
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
 than other sources
at the end
 of the period. The coal and nuclear
power
 were increased by various percents respectively given the period.
Furthermore
, the hydroelectric
power
 was stable during
whole
Add an article
the whole
show examples
 time. The
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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 of natural gas appeared
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
tiny increase
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 1
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1980 to 1990.
Overall
, two of
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
main
energy
 resources
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
1
Change preposition
by 1
show examples
to 9
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 but two
energy
 resources
such
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coal and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nuclear
power
were went
Change the verb form
went
show examples
 up by 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 between 1980 and 1990. There was only one
energy
 resource was remained stable.
Submitted by horloojargal0628 on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, power, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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