You would like a temporary job working in the summer camp which runs sports and outdoor activities for children and young people next summer. Write a letter to the organizers of the summer camp. In your letter: explain what sort of job you would like to do describe your personality say what experience and skills you have
Dear Sir Or Madam,
I am writing
this
letter to express my interest in working as summer
camp trainer in your esteemed organisation. I am very much interested in working as Correct article usage
a summer
trainer
to oversee Add an article
a trainer
activities
of Correct article usage
the activities
children
and young people
engaged in physical
and outdoor sports activity.
I have Add an article
the physical
Correct article usage
an outgoing
outgoing
personality. I like to socialise and mingle with Correct article usage
an outgoing
children
and young people
often. I do take very good care of them if they were
engaged in risky activities which may cause physical injuries to them. I am caring and protective too for them if Wrong verb form
are
situation
Correct article usage
the situation
demand
.
I do have very strong experience in managing large groups of Correct subject-verb agreement
demands
children
and young people
. I have completed Diploma
in physical education. I am Correct article usage
a Diploma
skilled
Correct article usage
a skilled
zumba
instructor too and manage all age groups for Zumba lessons. Change the capitalization
Zumba
beside
Replace the word
besides
that
I can arrange swimming Add a comma
that,
lesson
in Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
protected
environment for Add an article
a protected
children
and young people
.
I look forward to hear
from you soon.
Yours Faithfully,
Jim RogersChange the verb form
hearing
Submitted by yash334 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve greeting and closing, consider using more personalized openings and closures when possible, such as addressing specific people by name if known, and signing off in a way that matches the formality of the letter.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, ensure that transitions between paragraphs are smooth and that there is a clear progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next. Linking words or phrases can be very useful for this purpose.
task achievement
Regarding task achievement, while you have done well in addressing the letter's prompts, you can enhance your response by providing more specific examples or anecdotes to illustrate your skills and experiences. This enrichment could make your application stand out more.
task achievement
To achieve a more suitable writing tone, fine-tune your letter to reflect the specific cultural and professional context of the organization. This might involve researching the camp's values and expressing how your personality and approach align with them.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite