You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine. For someone to live with a family for 6 months and look after their 6 years old child. Write a letter to the parents. explain why you would like the job give details of why you should be a suitable person to employ say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

Dear Sir The purpose of inscribing
this
missive is to express my interest in the position of a
care taker
Correct your spelling
caretaker
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for your child published 'The Times' Magazine. I am greatly interested in doing
this
job because back in India, I was working as a teacher at a Playway school. I really like spending time with children. It would be very convenient for me to commute because your family is living around the corner of my home.
Moreover
, I had a great experience of handling kids because I worked in
this
sphere and I
also
hold a degree of psychological needs of children. I can teach him the curriculum as well in a playway method.
Besides
that, I am available for
whole
Add an article
the whole
a whole
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day because
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
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next
Correct article usage
the next
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6
moths
Correct your spelling
months
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, I will be on my academic break from college. Being a student on Academic break, I am looking
looking
Remove the redundancy
apply
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for work and
for
Change preposition
apply
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a family as well with whom I can spend
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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quality time.
Along with
that, there is a park near your home., where I can take your child to play. I look forward to meeting you to discuss the possibility of employment. Yours Faithfully Ram
Submitted by bawanpreet070 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your task response, ensure you address all parts of the task. In your letter, you covered why you are interested in the job and your suitability, but you didn't fully explore how you would spend your free time in Australia. Expanding on this aspect could provide a more rounded and complete response.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a better score in coherence and cohesion, consider structuring your letter in clear paragraphs, each addressing a distinct aspect of your response. For instance, one paragraph could solely focus on why you're interested in the job, another on your qualifications and suitability, and a final one on how you plan to spend your free time in Australia. This will also help in maintaining the logical structure and clarity throughout your letter.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance logical structure, start your letter with a brief introduction about yourself and why you are writing. Each subsequent paragraph should tackle a unique point and conclude with a summary or a forward-looking statement. Consider revising the letter to ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next, enhancing overall readability and impact.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improving your greeting and closing can also contribute to a higher score. Make sure to personalize the letter if possible by using the recipient's name. If the name isn't available, 'Dear Host Family,' could be a more specific alternative. Concluding with a more personalized closing such as 'Sincerely' instead of 'Yours Faithfully,' assuming a name was provided, would make the letter feel more personal and warm.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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