You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine. For someone to live with a family for 6 months and look after their 6 years old child. Write a letter to the parents. explain why you would like the job give details of why you should be a suitable person to employ say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia
#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #months #years #child #parents #job #person #time #australia
Dear Sir
The purpose of inscribing
this
missive is to express my interest in the position of a care taker
for your child published 'The Times' Magazine. I am greatly interested in doing Correct your spelling
caretaker
this
job because back in India, I was working as a teacher at a Playway school. I really like spending time with children. It would be very convenient for me to commute because your family is living around the corner of my home.
Moreover
, I had a great experience of handling kids because I worked in this
sphere and I also
hold a degree of psychological needs of children. I can teach him the curriculum as well in a playway method. Besides
that, I am available for whole
day because Add an article
the whole
a whole
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
next
6 Correct article usage
the next
moths
, I will be on my academic break from college.
Being a student on Academic break, I am looking Correct your spelling
months
looking
for work and Remove the redundancy
apply
for
a family as well with whom I can spend Change preposition
apply
my
quality time. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Along with
that, there is a park near your home., where I can take your child to play.
I look forward to meeting you to discuss the possibility of employment.
Yours Faithfully
RamSubmitted by bawanpreet070 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
To improve your task response, ensure you address all parts of the task. In your letter, you covered why you are interested in the job and your suitability, but you didn't fully explore how you would spend your free time in Australia. Expanding on this aspect could provide a more rounded and complete response.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a better score in coherence and cohesion, consider structuring your letter in clear paragraphs, each addressing a distinct aspect of your response. For instance, one paragraph could solely focus on why you're interested in the job, another on your qualifications and suitability, and a final one on how you plan to spend your free time in Australia. This will also help in maintaining the logical structure and clarity throughout your letter.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance logical structure, start your letter with a brief introduction about yourself and why you are writing. Each subsequent paragraph should tackle a unique point and conclude with a summary or a forward-looking statement. Consider revising the letter to ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next, enhancing overall readability and impact.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improving your greeting and closing can also contribute to a higher score. Make sure to personalize the letter if possible by using the recipient's name. If the name isn't available, 'Dear Host Family,' could be a more specific alternative. Concluding with a more personalized closing such as 'Sincerely' instead of 'Yours Faithfully,' assuming a name was provided, would make the letter feel more personal and warm.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.