Nowadays, university education is considered very important for people's future. However, there are a lot of successful people who didn't get higher education. Do you think that higher education is necessary to succeed in life? Justify your opinion with relevant examples.
Undoubtedly, these days people have the tendency to do higher
education
for their bright future. However
, there is a majority of those who got successfull
without pursuing any Correct your spelling
successful
successfully
university
education
. I will go with the former view and I believe that for being
succeed in life, Verb problem
to
post secondary
Add a hyphen
post-secondary
education
is not required. In upcoming
paragraph, I will justify my viewAdd an article
an upcoming
the upcoming
alongwith
the example.
Correct your spelling
along with
To begin
with, going for higher education
is not only a wastage
of money, but it Replace the word
waste
also
leads to unemployment. As
majority of the students, prefer to go for Correct your spelling
A
university
education
instead
of finding a job
after secondary education
. Hence
, after completing their university
, they remain unable to find the
Correct article usage
a
job
in the job
market which matches their qualifications and expectations. As a consequence
, they just end up in unemployment. For example
, one of my friends, she
has lots of Correct pronoun usage
apply
University
degrees, but she is looking for a high wage
Add a hyphen
high-wage
job
which meet
her qualifications. But, she doesn't Change the verb form
meets
has
any practical experience. So she is struggling with the unemployment.
Change the verb form
have
Moreover
, pursuing higher education
makes it hard for individuals to understand the concepts deeply. As they pesue
higher Correct your spelling
pursue
education
, the concepts get complicated and complex. Therefore
, I would say instead
of spending time on university
education
, people should make ourselves
excel in Correct pronoun usage
themselves
a
particular periods by gaining practical experience. Which can assist them finding in good jobs on the basis of experience. To exemplify, one of my friends, Correct article usage
apply
she
just Correct pronoun usage
apply
having
Wrong verb form
has
the
secondary Correct article usage
a
education
, but she is having
Wrong verb form
has
vocation
training Replace the word
vocational
of
Change preposition
as
software
developer l. She is earning Correct article usage
a software
good
money than those who Fix the agreement mistake
more
are having
higher qualifications.
Wrong verb form
have
To sum up
, I will emphasis
that not only Replace the word
emphasise
the
higher Correct article usage
apply
education
is need
for Wrong verb form
needed
better
future. Just having some practical skills Correct article usage
a better
are
enough Correct subject-verb agreement
is
for
Change preposition
to
getting
successful in life.Verb problem
be
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Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on organizing your thoughts in a clear and logical manner. Consider using a 'point, example, explanation' structure in each paragraph.
Coherence & Cohesion
Be sure to introduce your essay properly by stating your opinion clearly in the introduction. Similarly, sum up your argument effectively in the conclusion.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, ensure that every paragraph clearly supports your opinion. Additionally, work on diversifying your examples to cover a range of scenarios and outcomes.
Task Achievement
Avoid general statements like 'wastage of money' without directly linking them to your argument. Concrete examples or statistics can significantly strengthen your position.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and syntax errors. Errors can detract from the coherence of your argument and make it harder for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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