Nowadays, university education is considered very important for people's future. However, there are a lot of successful people who didn't get higher education. Do you think that higher education is necessary to succeed in life? Justify your opinion with relevant examples.

Undoubtedly, these days people have the tendency to do higher
education
for their bright future.
However
, there is a majority of those who got
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
successfully
without pursuing any
university
education
. I will go with the former view and I believe that
for being
Verb problem
to
show examples
succeed in life,
post secondary
Add a hyphen
post-secondary
show examples
education
is not required. In
upcoming
Add an article
an upcoming
the upcoming
show examples
paragraph, I will justify my view
alongwith
Correct your spelling
along with
the example.
To begin
with, going for higher
education
is not only a
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
of money, but it
also
leads to unemployment.
As
Correct your spelling
A
show examples
majority of the students, prefer to go for
university
education
instead
of finding a
job
after secondary
education
.
Hence
, after completing their
university
, they remain unable to find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
in the
job
market which matches their qualifications and expectations.
As a consequence
, they just end up in unemployment.
For example
, one of my friends,
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has lots of
University
degrees, but she is looking for a
high wage
Add a hyphen
high-wage
show examples
job
which
meet
Change the verb form
meets
show examples
her qualifications. But, she doesn't
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
any practical experience. So she is struggling with the unemployment.
Moreover
, pursuing higher
education
makes it hard for individuals to understand the concepts deeply. As they
pesue
Correct your spelling
pursue
higher
education
, the concepts get complicated and complex.
Therefore
, I would say
instead
of spending time on
university
education
, people should make
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
excel in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
particular periods by gaining practical experience. Which can assist them finding in good jobs on the basis of experience. To exemplify, one of my friends,
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
just
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
secondary
education
, but she
is having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
vocation
Replace the word
vocational
show examples
training
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
software
Correct article usage
a software
show examples
developer l. She is earning
good
Fix the agreement mistake
more
show examples
money than those who
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
higher qualifications.
To sum up
, I will
emphasis
Replace the word
emphasise
show examples
that not only
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
education
is
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
future. Just having some practical skills
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
enough
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
getting
Verb problem
be
show examples
successful in life.
Submitted by jassijaspreet153 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on organizing your thoughts in a clear and logical manner. Consider using a 'point, example, explanation' structure in each paragraph.
Coherence & Cohesion
Be sure to introduce your essay properly by stating your opinion clearly in the introduction. Similarly, sum up your argument effectively in the conclusion.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, ensure that every paragraph clearly supports your opinion. Additionally, work on diversifying your examples to cover a range of scenarios and outcomes.
Task Achievement
Avoid general statements like 'wastage of money' without directly linking them to your argument. Concrete examples or statistics can significantly strengthen your position.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and syntax errors. Errors can detract from the coherence of your argument and make it harder for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foundation
  • critical thinking
  • innovators
  • vocational training
  • persistence
  • soft skills
  • adaptability
  • non-traditional pathways
  • lifelong learning
  • disparities
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