Some people argue that globalisation has been a great benefit to people around the world, while others believe that it is the cause of many of the problems we see today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Globalisation
has allowed for the rapid spread of ideas and innovation, fostering intercultural understanding and collaboration. Many benefits that we get from
globalisation
,
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
include increased cultural exchange, economic
growth
, and technological advancement. It
also
open
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opens
show examples
up markets, allowing businesses to expand internationally, and job creation in developing countries which leads to economic
growth
. Technological advancement
also
increasing rapidly
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
the use of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
around the world. Many
people
can search
information
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for information
show examples
instantly, call or message
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
family,
colleague
Fix the agreement mistake
colleagues
show examples
,
friends
Correct word choice
and friends
show examples
, and
also
connect with
people
around the world.
These
Correct determiner usage
This
show examples
growth
make
Verb problem
gives
show examples
people
from every country have opportunity to explore more about their career
growth
. Many
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
website
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
allows
people
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
remotely from
another country
Fix the agreement mistake
other countries
show examples
and many new job opportunities in
technology
Add an article
the technology
show examples
field.
However
, critics argue that
globalisation
can lead to the exploitation of
labor
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labour
show examples
, environmental degradation, and the erosion of local cultures and traditions. One of the real
example
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examples
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now is many developing countries that become labor but
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
get paid generously.
This
problem can lead to
unsatisfaction
Replace the word
dissatisfaction
show examples
among the
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
low motivation to work, and
worsely
Correct your spelling
worse
wisely
can lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
bad quality of products that they produce.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
problem that
globalisation
also
made is the significant
increasement
Correct your spelling
increase
of
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in
show examples
people
's screen time in using their gadgets.
This
makes
people
become less productive,
passive
Correct word choice
and passive
show examples
, and
make
Verb problem
creates
show examples
an ignorant culture because they only focus on themselves. In conclusion,
while
globalisation
offers significant benefits by fostering economic and cultural connections worldwide, it
also
poses challenges that need to be addressed to ensure equitable and sustainable development. It's our duty to start filtering which influence or opportunity that we can take or leave.
Submitted by wand on

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Structure
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. In the introduction, briefly introduce the topic and state your opinion if the question requires it. Each body paragraph should contain a main idea and supporting details. Conclude your essay by summarizing your main points and restating your opinion in a different way.
Coherence
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will make your essay more coherent and easy to follow. Examples of linking words include: moreover, however, therefore, for instance.
Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is developed with relevant examples and explanations. Avoid overly broad statements without supporting them with specific details or examples.
Task Response
Fully address all parts of the task by discussing both views and giving your own opinion. Make sure your opinion is clear throughout the essay, especially in the introduction and conclusion.
Specific Examples
For a higher score in task achievement, include more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. These examples can be from your own knowledge or experience, or more general examples that are universally understood.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural exchange
  • economic growth
  • technological advancement
  • rapid spread
  • intercultural understanding
  • collaboration
  • exploitation
  • environmental degradation
  • erosion
  • inequality
  • cultural identity
  • global consumer culture
  • equitable
  • sustainable development
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