In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

Before enrolling in university,

students

are often encouraged to take a year off to work or

travel

after graduating from high school.

This

unique policy has been implemented in some countries in recent years.

This

essay will explore both the positive and negative impacts of

this

policy on young individuals.

Firstly

, one advantage of working before commencing university studies is that young people can gain valuable experience relevant to their desired careers.

For instance

, participating in internships allows them to develop both hard and soft skills. Expressing their ideas and receiving feedback in a professional setting enhances their communication abilities and fosters critical thinking.

Additionally

, government-backed

travel

initiatives offer

students

the opportunity to rejuvenate their minds, stepping away from the pressures of modern life and promoting mental well-being.

However

, excessive time spent working or

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

may lead to

students

forgetting the lessons learned in high school.

Consequently

, they may need to revisit foundational concepts, prolonging their academic journey.

Therefore

, it is essential for young people to set clear academic goals and establish schedules to ensure they remain focused and on track. By doing so, they can effectively balance work or

travel

with their educational aspirations. In conclusion, it is crucial for

students

to recognize their limitations. If they feel the need for

further

academic preparation, they should consider delaying work or

travel

plans.

Submitted by srsdy008 on Sat Mar 16 2024

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task achievement

To achieve a higher score in task response, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally. This essay seemed to lean more towards discussing advantages and could benefit from more balanced content.

coherence cohesion

Improve coherence and cohesion by enhancing the logical flow between ideas. Use a variety of linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages should be clearly distinct to guide the reader through your argument effectively.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. Rather than making general statements, illustrate your arguments with detailed examples or hypothetical situations that clearly demonstrate the advantage or disadvantage you are discussing. This lends credibility to your essay and makes your arguments more compelling.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

223 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is important to give gifts to friends and family to show that we care about them.Others think that there are better wasy to show that we care. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

Today more and more tourist or visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+