In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

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Before enrolling in university,

students

are often encouraged to take a year off to work or

travel

after graduating from high school.

This

unique policy has been implemented in some countries in recent years.

This

essay will explore both the positive and negative impacts of

this

policy on young individuals.

Firstly

, one advantage of working before commencing university studies is that young people can gain valuable experience relevant to their desired careers.

For instance

, participating in internships allows them to develop both hard and soft skills. Expressing their ideas and receiving feedback in a professional setting enhances their communication abilities and fosters critical thinking.

Additionally

, government-backed

travel

initiatives offer

students

the opportunity to rejuvenate their minds, stepping away from the pressures of modern life and promoting mental well-being.

However

, excessive time spent working or

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

may lead to

students

forgetting the lessons learned in high school.

Consequently

, they may need to revisit foundational concepts, prolonging their academic journey.

Therefore

, it is essential for young people to set clear academic goals and establish schedules to ensure they remain focused and on track. By doing so, they can effectively balance work or

travel

with their educational aspirations. In conclusion, it is crucial for

students

to recognize their limitations. If they feel the need for

further

academic preparation, they should consider delaying work or

travel

plans.

Submitted by srsdy008 on Sat Mar 16 2024

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task achievement

To achieve a higher score in task response, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally. This essay seemed to lean more towards discussing advantages and could benefit from more balanced content.

coherence cohesion

Improve coherence and cohesion by enhancing the logical flow between ideas. Use a variety of linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages should be clearly distinct to guide the reader through your argument effectively.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. Rather than making general statements, illustrate your arguments with detailed examples or hypothetical situations that clearly demonstrate the advantage or disadvantage you are discussing. This lends credibility to your essay and makes your arguments more compelling.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

223 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?

In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is worsening. What possibly can cause this problem? What measures can be taken to resolve it?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? has this become a positive or negative?

Motorways help people travel quickly and cover long distances but they also cause problems. What are the problems of the motorways and what solutions are there