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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
Before enrolling in university,
students
 are often encouraged to take a year off to work or
travel
 after graduating from high school.
This
 unique policy has been implemented in some countries in recent years.
This
 essay will explore both the positive and negative impacts of
this
 policy on young individuals.
Firstly
, one advantage of working before commencing university studies is that young people can gain valuable experience relevant to their desired careers.
For instance
, participating in internships allows them to develop both hard and soft skills. Expressing their ideas and receiving feedback in a professional setting enhances their communication abilities and fosters critical thinking.
Additionally
, government-backed
travel
 initiatives offer
students
 the opportunity to rejuvenate their minds, stepping away from the pressures of modern life and promoting mental well-being.
However
, excessive time spent working or
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 may lead to
students
 forgetting the lessons learned in high school.
Consequently
, they may need to revisit foundational concepts, prolonging their academic journey.
Therefore
, it is essential for young people to set clear academic goals and establish schedules to ensure they remain focused and on track. By doing so, they can effectively balance work or
travel
 with their educational aspirations. In conclusion, it is crucial for
students
 to recognize their limitations. If they feel the need for
further
 academic preparation, they should consider delaying work or
travel
 plans.
Submitted by srsdy008 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task response, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally. This essay seemed to lean more towards discussing advantages and could benefit from more balanced content.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by enhancing the logical flow between ideas. Use a variety of linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages should be clearly distinct to guide the reader through your argument effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Rather than making general statements, illustrate your arguments with detailed examples or hypothetical situations that clearly demonstrate the advantage or disadvantage you are discussing. This lends credibility to your essay and makes your arguments more compelling.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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