IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The plans below show the South Wing of Walton Museum in 2008 and in 2012 after it was redeveloped. You should write at least 150 words.

#plans #show #walton #museum #redeveloped
The maps give information about the South Wing of Walton Museum was rebuilt between 2008 and 2012.
Overall
, most rooms were changed to other rooms. The lift was added to replace the stairs. Starting with the entrance hall, the South Wing was still there from 2008 to 2012. Only the
cloaksroom
Correct your spelling
cloakroom
classroom
 disappeared, and that
room
 was made to play children. On the first floor, the reception
room
 was added to the cloaks
room
 and the reading
room
 remained unchanged in 2012. On the second floor, a terrace was constructed above the entrance hall. On the right side of the terrace, a restaurant was built.
This
 building was above the reception and
cloaks
Correct your spelling
cloakroom
show examples
room
. In 2012,
instead
 of using stairs to go up, people could use lifts. The right building of Walton Museum appeared self-service
room
 and increased one floor which was named the exhibition
room
 in 2012.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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task response
Clarify the introduction to include a direct comparison of the two maps and what they represent, without using broad statements. Detail what the reader can expect in the following paragraphs.
task response
Ensure a concise conclusion that summarizes the main changes and their impact on the museum, enhancing the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer signposting language to guide the reader through each paragraph. Terms like 'Initially', 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', can greatly increase understanding.
coherence cohesion
Organize the information more logically, perhaps by floor, ensuring each key change is mentioned with a corresponding temporal marker (e.g., 'By 2012...', 'In 2008...').
coherence cohesion
Support main points with specific examples or descriptions of changes. Rather than just stating a change, explain the significance or provide more detailed descriptions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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