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Band 1.5

It is true that the question of whether to divide opinions regarding the budget allocation of the educational sector or allocate a high proportion of the budget to purchasing laptops and tablets remains a source of controversy in the field. I would argue that both of these aspects are crucial for enhancing education, so equal funding should be given. I will outline the reasons for this in this essay

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It is true that the question of whether to divide opinions regarding the budget allocation of the educational sector or allocate a high proportion of the budget to purchasing laptops and tablets remains a source of controversy in the field. I would argue that both of these aspects are crucial for enhancing education, so equal funding should be given. I will outline the reasons for
this
 in
this
 essay
Submitted by dongocuyennhi1102001 on

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General advice
Your essay lacks content beyond the introduction. To improve, ensure you fully develop your essay by presenting well-supported arguments, providing examples, and concluding your points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, plan your essay structure before writing. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific point and uses clear topic sentences. Link ideas between paragraphs using transitional phrases.
Task Achievement
For better task achievement, address the question directly and comprehensively. Expand on your arguments by citing specific reasons and examples. Ensure your essay includes an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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