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Band 5.5

The table below show information about age, average in come per person and population below poverty line in three states in the USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant

The table below show information about age, average in come per person and population below poverty line in three states in the USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant
#show #information #age #person #population #poverty #line #three #states #usa #summarise #feature #comparisons
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The provided graph illustrates the data about youngsters, people 60 plus, average revenue per person and the poor in
California
Use synonyms
,
Utah
Use synonyms
 and
Florida
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. Units are measured in
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 and dollars.
Overall
Linking Words
, almost all categories of
Utah
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 show the lowest point, except in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
aged
Replace the word
ages
show examples
 under 18.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the figures for
California
Use synonyms
 and
Florida
Use synonyms
 in aged under 18 and average income remain approximately the same information.
According to
Linking Words
 the table, the percentage of young people in
Utah
Use synonyms
 reaches a peak
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 28%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the proportion of older people aged over 60 shows the lowest point at 8%. The figure for
youngers
Replace the word
young people
show examples
 in
California
Use synonyms
 and
Florida
Use synonyms
 has more or less similar
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 with 17% and 16%.
However
Linking Words
, the proportion of older adults in
Florida
Use synonyms
 is 10 % more than in
California
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the average income in
Utah
Use synonyms
 amounts to just 17.000$, and it’s the smallest amount among other states,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 category for
California
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 and
Florida
Use synonyms
 is around 25.000$.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
 below
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
show examples
 line in
Utah
Use synonyms
 is just 9%. Yet, there are 16% and 12%
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 poor in
California
Use synonyms
 and
Florida
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words california, utah, florida with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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