The government should reduce the amount of money spent on local environmental problems and instead increase funding into urgent and more threatening issues such as global warming. To what extent do you agree
It is
fact
that global warming is a Correct article usage
a fact
threathing
Correct your spelling
threatening
issue
around the world. But this
is not a
best solution for the Change the article
the
authority
should minimise money on local environmental problems Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
besides
increasing funds for preventing global warming issue
. I totally disagree with Fix the agreement mistake
issues
this
statement because these
both problems are needed to address it. A further
expand
will be provided in Replace the word
expansion
this
essay.
To commence with, local environmental Issues
should be addressed by the ruling party otherwise
people will suffer numerous health issues
. This
is because air contamination, water pollution, congestion and toxic wastages
Fix the agreement mistake
wastage
dumped
into the river, these problems should be managed by
the government, so they should not reduce the amount of protecting Add a missing verb
are dumped
local
Add an article
the local
environment
. For example
, accroding
to the survey Correct your spelling
according
said
Verb problem
apply
that
Correct determiner usage
the
unhygine
Correct your spelling
hygiene
unhygienic
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
problem
can lead to Fix the agreement mistake
problems
getting
plenty of diseases Verb problem
apply
such
as respiratory Fix the agreement mistake
problems
problem
, lung cancer and stroke. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Hence
, the rulling
party should allocate Correct your spelling
ruling
fund
for protecting the local Fix the agreement mistake
funds
environment
than
Rephrase
rather than
allocates
more money Wrong verb form
allocating
on
global warming trouble.
Change preposition
to
Furthermore
, protecting the regional environment
also
crucial to stay far away from any Add a missing verb
is also
catastrophy
. Correct your spelling
catastrophe
This
is because alobal
warming can happen by regional restrictions namely forest destruction. Correct your spelling
global
For instance
, Amazon forest trees have cut
and destroyed by people, Add a missing verb
been cut
thus
, it brings plenty of
environmental issues
, so this
issue
should be addressed to the world-wide. Needless to say, all countries liont
together to protect our planet from global warming in order Correct your spelling
lions
to
the earth will not be damaged by the global warming Change preposition
that
issue
.
In conclusion, the government should allocate Correct article usage
a lows
lows
amount for Change the noun form
low
local
Correct article usage
the local
environment
but it should gives
more funds for Change the verb form
give
Correct article usage
the threating
threating
and urgent trouble of global warming. I totally disagree with Correct your spelling
treating
threatening
this
statement because both these issues
are needed to prevent and money should not reduce
for Wrong verb form
be reduced
local
Add an article
the local
environment
and I hope this
brings plenty of benefits to society.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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task achievement
Despite the attempt to address the prompt, the essay does not develop a clear position throughout, resulting in a somewhat incomplete response. To improve, clearly state your position in the introduction and consistently support this view throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows an effort to organize ideas and arguments. However, there's a lack of clear logical sequencing which affects the coherence of the text. Use clear topic sentences at the start of paragraphs and ensure subsequent sentences support the main idea clearly.
task achievement
While you included examples, they were not always specific or fully developed. To strengthen your arguments, incorporate detailed examples that directly support your main points. This will enhance the persuasiveness and relevance of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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