The government should reduce the amount of money spent on local environmental problems and instead increase funding into urgent and more threatening issues such as global warming. To what extent do you agree

#government #amount #money

It is

fact

Correct article usage

a fact

show examples

that global warming is a

threathing

Correct your spelling

threatening

issue

around the world. But

this

is not

Change the article

the

show examples

best solution for the

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

should minimise money on local environmental problems

besides

increasing funds for preventing global warming

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

. I totally disagree with

this

statement because these both problems are needed to address it. A

further

expand

Replace the word

expansion

show examples

will be provided in

this

essay. To commence with, local environmental

Issues

should be addressed by the ruling party

otherwise

people will suffer numerous health

issues

This

is because air contamination, water pollution, congestion and toxic

wastages

Fix the agreement mistake

wastage

show examples

dumped

Add a missing verb

are dumped

show examples

into the river, these problems should be managed by the government, so they should not reduce the amount of protecting

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

environment

For example

accroding

Correct your spelling

according

to the survey

said

Verb problem

apply

show examples

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

unhygine

Correct your spelling

hygiene

unhygienic

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

can lead to

getting

Verb problem

apply

show examples

plenty of diseases

such

as respiratory

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

, lung cancer and stroke.

Hence

, the

rulling

Correct your spelling

ruling

party should allocate

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

for protecting the local

environment

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

allocates

Wrong verb form

allocating

show examples

more money

Change preposition

show examples

global warming trouble.

Furthermore

, protecting the regional

environment

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

crucial to stay far away from any

catastrophy

Correct your spelling

catastrophe

This

is because

alobal

Correct your spelling

global

warming can happen by regional restrictions namely forest destruction.

For instance

, Amazon forest trees have

cut

Add a missing verb

been cut

show examples

and destroyed by people,

thus

, it brings plenty of environmental

issues

, so

this

issue

should be addressed to the world-wide. Needless to say, all countries

liont

Correct your spelling

lions

together to protect our planet from global warming in order

Change preposition

that

show examples

the earth will not be damaged by the global warming

issue

. In conclusion, the government should allocate

Correct article usage

a lows

show examples

lows

Change the noun form

low

show examples

amount for

local

Correct article usage

the local

show examples

environment

but it should

gives

Change the verb form

give

show examples

more funds for

Correct article usage

the threating

show examples

threating

Correct your spelling

treating

threatening

and urgent trouble of global warming. I totally disagree with

this

statement because both these

issues

are needed to prevent and money should not

reduce

Wrong verb form

be reduced

show examples

for

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

environment

and I hope

this

brings plenty of benefits to society.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Sat Mar 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Despite the attempt to address the prompt, the essay does not develop a clear position throughout, resulting in a somewhat incomplete response. To improve, clearly state your position in the introduction and consistently support this view throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay shows an effort to organize ideas and arguments. However, there's a lack of clear logical sequencing which affects the coherence of the text. Use clear topic sentences at the start of paragraphs and ensure subsequent sentences support the main idea clearly.

task achievement

While you included examples, they were not always specific or fully developed. To strengthen your arguments, incorporate detailed examples that directly support your main points. This will enhance the persuasiveness and relevance of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

300 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

urgent issues
global warming
local environmental problems
funding
redirecting funds
broader environmental health
financial efficiency
return on investment
cost-effective
holistic approach
moral and ethical considerations
resource allocation
long-term consequences
short-term impacts
competing environmental concerns

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think that it is effective for students to study in a group at school, while others think it is better to study alone. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The students are divided in their opinion regarding whether they should study by themselves or in a group at school. some believe learning in a group can make a topic appear easier and make the process of learning much faster, while others think that a better understanding of a subject can only be accomplished by learning it alone. Let us examine both views before reaching a concrete conclusion. From my point of view, it is better to study in groups.
6
band
93.It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is argued that individuals should take risks in either their professional or personal lives. This essay would argue that although people may fail when taking risks, they are able to learn from their failures, this means, that the advantages of taking risks outweigh the drawbacks.
8
band
Do you believe that scientific experimentation on animal is justified? Are there any alternative to animal experimentation?
Some people have approved that trial investigations on creatures are beneficial. Although these experiments paved the way for extending science, it hurt them. In my opinion, it is not the appropriate method. Thus. Using computer simulation will be a profitable replacement.
7.5
band
Some people think sending criminals to prison is an effective way to deal with them. Others think education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
People have different views regarding how to deal with criminals. While some argue that they should undoubtedly be sent to prisons, others support alternative education methods to solve the root cause. I strongly agree with the latter statement.
7.5
band
Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities or towns, only old people live in the countryside? What are the problems of this issue? What can be done to solve this problem?
These days, only the elderly citizens reside in the outskirts of the city and youth are abandoning it and are staying in metropolitan cities. In this essay, I will describe the possible causes for it and practical solutions as well in detail.

The government should reduce the amount of money spent on local environmental problems and instead increase funding into urgent and more threatening issues such as global warming. To what extent do you agree

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that it is effective for students to study in a group at school, while others think it is better to study alone. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

93.It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Do you believe that scientific experimentation on animal is justified? Are there any alternative to animal experimentation?

Some people think sending criminals to prison is an effective way to deal with them. Others think education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities or towns, only old people live in the countryside? What are the problems of this issue? What can be done to solve this problem?