IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people believe goverments should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads are the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #goverments #money #train #subway #lines #traffic #congestion #roads
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Traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion is a great concern
Change preposition
in somes
show examples
somes
Correct your spelling
some
cities
Use synonyms
 around the world.
While
Linking Words
 some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 opine on constructing
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 and underground
rail
Use synonyms
 ,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
argu
Correct your spelling
argue
 that
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
larger streets
Add a missing verb
are
show examples
one of the best ways to control
Use synonyms
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
show examples
 system.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss how
Use synonyms
metro
Add an article
the metro
a metro
show examples
 train is so important and why
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
broader roads are suitable way. On the one hand, the main reason why
metro
Use synonyms
rail
Use synonyms
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 a vital role in lessening
traffic
Use synonyms
 gridlock in the
cities
Use synonyms
 is that it
carry
Change the verb form
carries
show examples
huge
Change the article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 number of passengers at a time.
In addition
Linking Words
, city dwellers can smoothly move from one place to another place without delay.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they can save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
valuable time and the number of other vehicles will be decreased. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 low impact on the environment. In Bangladesh,
for instance
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
metro
Correct article usage
the metro
show examples
rail
Use synonyms
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 inaugurated six months ago and we
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 noticed
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the diminution of pressure on extreme
traffic
Use synonyms
 standstills.
on the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 crucial issue is more and larger boulevards that impact to minimise vehicle
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 in the
cities
Use synonyms
.
Though
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 the initial infrastructure cost will be
intense
Correct article usage
an intense
show examples
 amount. It will play
substantial
Add an article
a substantial
show examples
 role
to decrease
Change preposition
in decreasing
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion around the towns.
For example
Linking Words
, some
populus
Correct your spelling
popular
cities
Use synonyms
 around the world built up elevated
express ways
Correct your spelling
expressways
show examples
along with
Linking Words
broaden
Wrong verb form
broadened
show examples
 roads with a view to dropping motor
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
. As a result, the population of congested towns feel relief from crowding and
transportions
Correct your spelling
transportation
transportations
. In conclusion, manufacturing both infrastructures play a
drastical
Correct your spelling
drastic
 role
to reduce
Change preposition
in reducing
show examples
 the
traffic
Use synonyms
 gridlock in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bustling
cities
Use synonyms
 . I strongly
experience
Verb problem
believe
show examples
 that
metro
Use synonyms
rail
Use synonyms
 facilities will have
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 impact
to diminish
Change preposition
on diminishing
show examples
 vehicle
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
.
Submitted by nayeb35 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a basic structure that includes an introduction, discussion of both views, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved by using clearer topic sentences and more effective linking words.
task achievement
While the essay attempts to discuss both views and provides examples, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. Try to delve deeper into each argument, providing more detailed examples and explaining why each method of reducing traffic congestion has its merits and drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
There are noticeable grammatical errors and instances of incorrect word usage throughout the essay. Enhancing your grammar and vocabulary will improve the clarity of your ideas and the overall quality of your essay. Consider revising sentences that feel unnatural and check for subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and word choice.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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