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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar graph displays the consumption of fast food in five different countries in 2010 and 2020. Summarize the data and analyze any significant trends.

The bar graph displays the consumption of fast food in five different countries in 2010 and 2020. Summarize the data and analyze any significant trends.
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The bar chart illustrates the amount of fast
food
Use synonyms
 consumed in five countries; the United Kingdom, Germany, France, Japan, and China, in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2010 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, fast
food
Use synonyms
 consumption is relatively rising in every
nations
Change to a singular noun
nation
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. China has the sharpest rise,
while
Linking Words
 Japan is minimally inclined.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, in 2010, the United Kingdom
initially
Linking Words
 had the highest percentage, with 23%, followed by Germany and France, 20% and 19% respectively. Meanwhile, the two Asian countries used to have only 15% consumption rates.
However
Linking Words
, in 2020, the Chinese doubled the amount within a decade, as jumped to 32%.
In contrast
Linking Words
 with the Japanese, the proportion of the population having fast
food
Use synonyms
 only increased by 2%, still being the country that has the least amount of fast
food
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the remaining countries equally have approximately
4
Correct article usage
a 4
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to 5 percent rise.
As a result
Linking Words
, the United Kingdom dropped to the second largest number, with 28%. Germany and France are closely behind, with 24%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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