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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where revelant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where revelant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparisons #revelant
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The bar chart illustrates how much families spend on weekly income in multifarious items
an
Change preposition
in an
show examples
 unknown nation over the period of 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
it is clear that
Linking Words
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past period people spent
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge
amount
Use synonyms
 on food
whereas
Linking Words
 after fifty years people spent the most
amount
Use synonyms
 on leisure, housing and transport. In detail, in 1968, food was the most basic thing, so people paid huge
Use synonyms
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
while
Linking Words
 fuel and power
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the least
Use synonyms
expenses
Replace the word
expensive
show examples
, at just above one-third and around 7 per
cent
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 food
expenses
Use synonyms
 and fuel were reduced by 17 and 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2018. Leisure
expenses
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the highest
amount
Use synonyms
 in 2018,
which accounts
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for nearly 22 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and it had only almost 9% in 1968.
In contrast
Linking Words
, travelling and housing
expenses
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in 2018 than 1968, which was increased by almost 14 and 19 per
cent
Use synonyms
 respectively. Surprisingly, household goods
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
maintained the same
amount
Use synonyms
 on
weekends
Fix the agreement mistake
weekend
show examples
expenses
Use synonyms
, at nearly 9%.
In addition
Linking Words
, personal items and clothing and footwear
we're
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 reduced in 2018 as compared to
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1968, which was 4 and 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, expenses, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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