Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Countries all over the globe are considered to have an increasing level of similarity
due to
the number of the same
production
Replace the word
products
show examples
that people use in all countries. In my personal opinion,
this
is
exceptively
Correct your spelling
excessively
deceptively
a positive development, because, it is an obvious sign of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
reliable trading between countries,
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
export and import, which in the first place leads to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
satisfaction of customers all over the
world
and can
beneficially
Change the word
beneficial
show examples
influence the relationships between lands.
Firstly
, people usually like a great choice of products including those of a foreign production.
Thus
, making an import a significant impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
citizens' satisfaction.
Moreover
, one product often can be commonly considered to be of a better quality from one country than another, making it more desirable for everyone.
For example
, shampoos and other
Add a hyphen
hair-care-related
show examples
hair-care related
Add a hyphen
hair-care-related
show examples
Replace the word
products
show examples
production
Replace the word
products
show examples
are commonly known to be more natural if it manufactured in India,
Correct word choice
and skin-care
show examples
skin-care
Correct word choice
and skin-care
show examples
products from Korea are the popular choice in
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
world
.
Secondly
,
progressed
Correct article usage
a progressed
show examples
level of trading is helpful for each country
that is
taking part in it for a list of reasons.
For instance
, it can be explained by the
potencial
Correct your spelling
potential
opportunity to raise a GDP level, which
overall
definitely can bring a number of positive effects to a certain government,
also
a constant interaction and exchange of goods between different territories can keep them in
a friendly relationships
Correct the article-noun agreement
a friendly relationship
friendly relationships
show examples
,
that is
essantial
Correct your spelling
essential
for
a peace
Remove the article
peace
a feeling of peace
a sense of peace
a wave of peace
show examples
in the
world
.
To conclude
, I believe that import and export undeniably have a significantly
adventageous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
impact on the
world
, keeping the need
of building
Change preposition
to build
show examples
connections between governments,
therefore
creating a stronger community of the citizens of the globe.
Submitted by raxdiana4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Example Detail
Work on providing specific, concrete examples to back up your arguments. While you mention the popularity of Indian hair-care products and Korean skin-care products, delve deeper into how these examples support your argument about global trading and satisfaction.
Structure
Ensure your essay follows a clear, logical structure. Introduce your points clearly in the introduction, develop them in the body paragraphs, and restate your stance in the conclusion for added coherence.
Vocabulary Specificity
Be mindful of your phrasing and vocabulary to avoid vague terms like "a number of positive effects" without specifying. Specificity lends credibility and strength to your writing.
Grammar & Typos
Proofread your essay for grammatical and typographical errors. These can detract from your overall message and make your essay harder to follow.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: