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Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reportion the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reportion the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #summarise #reportion #features #comparisons
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The chart compares the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
living in
cities
Use synonyms
 in 4
countries
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 in Asia between 1970 and 2020.
Also
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
 between 2030 and 2040 was predicted.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
percentage
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 of
residents
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 of urban areas in these
countries
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was
Verb problem
has
show examples
exprienced
Correct your spelling
experienced
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
steady growth and the
country
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 which will have the
most
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
population
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 in 2040 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Malaysia
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.
Philippines
Correct article usage
The Philippines
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 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 had the highest
proportion
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 of
residents
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 in 1970, respectively and the most salient is the increasing rate of the
percentage
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 of
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population
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the population
show examples
 in metropolitan parts
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Malaysia
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.
Former
Add an article
The former
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country
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 had merely 30% in 1970 which was the highest
proportion
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 among the other
countries
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.
during
Capitalize word
During
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time
Add an article
the time
a time
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, it had a general increase and it met its peak in 1990 whose
proportion
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 was about 50% and it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 40% in 2020. It was predicted that the
population
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 of
cities
Use synonyms
 in the Philippines to reach above
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
50% in 2040 and it will be third in rank.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
population
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 of
cities
Use synonyms
 in the latter one grew exponentially. The
proportion
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 was 30% in 1970 and after that, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased dramatically until 2020
whose
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
percentage
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 was about 70%. It was
also
Linking Words
 forecasted that the
percentage
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 will meet its peak at about 80% in 2040 and
Malaysia
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 will be first in rank in the end.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the
population
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 of
cities
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 in Thailand and Indonesia was much less in comparison with other
countries
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. The
population
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Indonesia was between 10% and 20% in 1970. But, it had a significant increase and it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 50% in 2020. It was
also
Linking Words
 predicted that its
proportion
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 will be about 60% in 2040 which made
this
Linking Words
country
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 second in the rank,
although
Linking Words
 its
cities
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was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the least populated at first.
Residents
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 of
cities
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 in Thailand in 1970
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 approximately 20%.
Likewise
Linking Words
, but less dramatically, it can be seen that its
proportion
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increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 generally during
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 and the
percentage
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 of
residents
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 in metropolitan areas in 2020 was reported about 30%. It was forecasted that the
proportion
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 of
population
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 in
cities
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Thailand will be merely 50% in 2040 and it will be the
last
Linking Words
country
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 in the ranking.
Submitted by attarzadehosseiniaida on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, population, cities, countries, percentage, residents, country, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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