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Writing Samples
Band 1.5

How do changes in population growth and urbanisation relate to the industrial revolution.

#changes #population #growth #urbanisation #revolution
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The shift in population growth and urbanisation have direct impacts
in
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on
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industrial
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the industrial
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revolution
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the
relation
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relationship
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of
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between
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 these two factors since the
revolution
 brought changes in the demand
of
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for
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 workers and life
system
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systems
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 in urban areas. Industrialization led to the creation of the factory and the factory system contributed to the growth of urban areas as large numbers of workers migrated into the cities in search of work in the factories.
On the other hand
,
population
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the population
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was highly
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apply
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increased
where
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when
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 the Industrial
Revolution
 was taking place, the human population started to grow really fast to meet the demand
of
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for
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 workers in the factories. In conclusion,
Correct article usage
the industrial
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Correct article usage
the industrial
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industrial
Correct your spelling
Industrial Revolution
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revolution
 brought about changes in the
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increase
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increases
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increase
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 of people and the growth of cities.
Submitted by roshnijuneja19182 on

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Relevant Specific Examples
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Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Try to detail a bit more on how exactly urbanization and population growth impacted the industrial revolution to deepen the discussion.
Logical Structure
Structure your essay with clear paragraphs, dedicating a paragraph to each main point you introduce for better clarity and flow.
Introduction/Conclusion Present
You did a great job of introducing and concluding your essay, effectively framing your argument.
Complete Response
You clearly responded to the task, providing a relevant discussion on how population growth and urbanisation relate to the industrial revolution.
Logical Structure
Your essay shows good coherence, with a logical flow of ideas.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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