IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You have just read an article in a national newspaper which claims that Darwin centres in your country or look very similar to each other. You do not fully agree with this opinion. Write a letter to the editor of the newspaper. In your letter Say which points in the article you agree with Explain ways in which your town centre is different from most other town centres Over to give a guided tour of your town to the writer of the article

#article #newspaper #claims #darwin #centres #country #editor #points #town #centre #tour #writer
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Dear sir, I would like to inform you regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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your newspaper that
i
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I
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 just read and
i
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I
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am not agree
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do not agree
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 with your point of view
due to
 the fact that
Darwin
 is not similar to my country.
However
,
i
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I
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 would like to
clalify
Correct your spelling
clarify
 the differents between
Darwin
 and my home town.
Darwin
 is very hot and can
be increase
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be increased
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further
 to the
hotest
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hottest
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 temperature point.
Although
, down here is cool during the summer and there are
also
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of mountains in my town
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to
Darwin
.
Therefore
,
i
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I
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 would like to tell you all of these on the account
that is
 very vital for your information
especially
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, especially
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 to all the people who are going to read the newspaper. I hope you have an understanding
the
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of the
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 differences between
Darwin
 and
centre
Correct article usage
the centre
show examples
 of my country. Thank you, yours faithfully, Toto
Submitted by riemwatokateti on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task achievement, ensure you address all elements of the prompt clearly. Begin by explicitly agreeing or disagreeing with the points mentioned in the article, followed by a detailed explanation of how your town centre differs, and lastly, explicitly offer a guided tour to the writer. Missing to thoroughly respond to each point lowers your score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve your letter's coherence and cohesion by organizing ideas more logically. Each paragraph should address a specific point from the prompt. Use transition words to connect ideas smoothly ('Furthermore', 'In contrast', etc.) and dedicate a paragraph to each task point for clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Greeting and Closing, use more formal language to maintain an appropriate tone throughout the letter ('Dear Editor', 'Yours sincerely,' followed by your full name). This aligns with formal letter-writing conventions and enhances the overall presentation.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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