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Band 1

Young people should seek the guidance of older individuals than younger ones. Whether you agree or disagree?

#people #guidance #individuals #ones
Guidance may lead
one
 in a good
way
 or indulge someone in a bad
way
. Being guided is good but how
one
 is being guided by whom is the big
questions
Fix the agreement mistake
question
show examples
. First of all, being guided by someone experienced is an advantage. Here we are talking about older individuals. Since these persons already went through many life experiences, they may be of good help to younger
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
However
, they may
also
 prevent the younger
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
to discover
Change preposition
from discovering
show examples
 their own path by
sometime
Fix the agreement mistake
sometimes
show examples
 creating fear
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
unknown
Correct article usage
the unknown
show examples
. As a coun having two faces, being guided by younger ones can benefit in a
way
 that they understand the actual
way
 of living and
adapts
Correct subject-verb agreement
adapt
show examples
 themselves to it. So, they may guide
according to
 the generations
one
 is situated.
Nevertheless
,
one
 must be very careful to whom
one
 is letting oneself opened
Submitted by roshnijuneja19182 on

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task achievement
To improve the task achievement, ensure your essay directly answers the question posed in the prompt by offering a clear stance on the topic in the introduction and consistently reinforcing this stance with supporting arguments throughout. Aim to fully develop your ideas with detailed examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a more clear and consistent organization. Introduce your main points in the introduction, develop each in separate paragraphs, and summarize your argument in a conclusion. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader between ideas for better flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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