some children spend hours every on smartphones. Why is this case? Is it a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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In the modern era, technological advancements, especially

smartphones

Use synonyms

, have become an

intergral

Correct your spelling

integral

part

Change preposition

show examples

our lives. There are numerous reasons why

children

Use synonyms

spend

Correct article usage

the

show examples

majority of their lifetime using these high-tech gadgets

such

Linking Words

as the attractive contents

comprised

Verb problem

apply

show examples

inside them

as well as

Linking Words

the paucity of parental care towards their kids. From the writer's experience, I think

this

Linking Words

trend

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to a detrimental impact on their health

also

Linking Words

social lives. When it comes to the culprit of

this

Linking Words

young-age related

Add a hyphen

young-age-related

show examples

addiction, social platforms and gaming

app

Fix the agreement mistake

apps

show examples

must be mentioned. To explain it

further

Linking Words

, mobile phones in the current years are packed with differential appealing apps

such

Linking Words

as Facebook,

Tiktok

Correct your spelling

TikTok

show examples

or Instagram compared to the basic functions equipped in like calling or texting in the

last

Linking Words

few decades.

As a result

Linking Words

, the sophisticated artificial intelligence applied by the handsets's inventors will allow the users to approach the latest staggering but equally interesting news. With the same token, the

children

Use synonyms

who seem to have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

intellectual curiosity would certainly be grabbed attention

as well as

Linking Words

kept hooked for a long period of time. Lacking the indispensible care from parents is

also

Linking Words

considered as one of the prime causes of

this

Linking Words

phenomenom

Correct your spelling

phenomenon

. Particularly, once nuturers are

stucked

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stuck

stocked

with their business and

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

spend enough quality time

for

Change preposition

with

show examples

their kids, they

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

have

tendency

Add an article

a tendency

the tendency

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to make use of

smartphones

Use synonyms

as an optimum recreational

facilities

Correct the article-noun agreement

facility

show examples

offered

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

children

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

could pose

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show examples

inevitable temptation

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for

show examples

teenagers which will

arise

Verb problem

create

show examples

a wide range of negative effects on

themself

Correct pronoun usage

them

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if they deeply

immerse

Wrong verb form

immersed

show examples

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show examples

these high-tech devices in the long run. To

examplify

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exemplify

, a

recenr

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recent

survey in the USA reported that a

thunderstock

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thunderstruck

thunder stock

thundershock

80% of young citizens whose rarely

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

parents take care of them spend at least 5 hours per day in front of mobile screens.

This

Linking Words

writer believes that

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

children

Use synonyms

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

can put the users in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health-related predicaments

also

Linking Words

social

lives

Change the noun form

life

show examples

malfunctions. First and foremost, leading a sedentary lifestyle and regularly approaching blue light from mobile phones might exacerbate bouts of heart disease symptoms

coupled with

Linking Words

eyes

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eye

show examples

irritation which ultimately hinder the hostilistic

developement

Correct your spelling

development

. Dwelling on

smartphones

Use synonyms

in the long run would probably provide

young-aged

Correct your spelling

young

show examples

people with the advantageous chances for making online friends, which equivalently means that

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

friends in person will have the opportunities for deep conversations that create

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

also

Linking Words

issues solving skills. In conclusion, the case

which

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in which

show examples

children

Use synonyms

on a regular basis spend their time on

smartphones

Use synonyms

stems from the captivating information wrapped internally

couples

Wrong verb form

coupled

show examples

with the scarcity of

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

attention from parents, both of which could lead to the mitigation of health evolvement

as well as

Linking Words

many essential

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

in real life.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Sat Mar 16 2024

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logical structure

Improve the structure of your essay by having clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make sure each part serves its purpose: introducing the topic, discussing it, and summarizing your points.

introduction conclusion present

Ensure your essay has a consistent flow of ideas. Use transitional phrases to smoothly connect different sections and points within your essay.

supported main points

Support your main points with clear and specific examples. This helps strengthen your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.

complete response

Ensure that your essay fully addresses the question asked. Your response should discuss both the reasons for the trend and its implications, providing a balanced view.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clarify and expand your ideas to ensure they are fully developed. Providing more details, explanations, and examples will make your points more comprehensive and convincing.

relevant specific examples

Use more specific examples to support your arguments. Relevant and detailed examples illustrate your points effectively and make your essay more engaging.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

447 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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some children spend hours every on smartphones. Why is this case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include : &Where you stayed. & What the problems were. & How they can fix your complaints.

Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to information in many countries. This is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some think that politicians should always be honest while others feel that there are times when they must lie. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.