IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education that government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #right #access #university #education #government #students #matter #background
There is an argumentative perception heating up a debate over the fact that going to college is
everyone
's right
whether
Correct word choice
and whether
show examples
 the
government
 should provide a
tuition
-free policy for all students. I don't see myself as a proponent of
this
 notion. Without a shadow of a doubt,
everyone
 is entitled to
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
show examples
 since the provision of free-or-charge
education
 is not a lawmaker's responsibility. Contrary to the common belief that free
education
 may elevate the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
workforces'
Change noun form
workforce's
show examples
 quality, it may cause career-related problems. Since
everyone
 has a college degree, competition for job opportunities will increase because there are no differences between candidates, leading to more difficulties for candidates in achieving their job opportunities.
Hence
, making an investment in higher
education
tuition
 is not vital for the state.
In addition
, when the market still has numerous other factors that need investment, completely funding
tuition
 fees is not necessary for the
government
.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that the national coffer is still limited because the state has to pour money into other elements.
For instance
, developing the tourism industry, building infrastructure and promoting the entertainment industry can be cited as the top three instances of aspects
which
Change preposition
on which
show examples
 the
government
 needs to splurge money
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Thus
, the state budget is limited so investing in free
tuition
 is not necessary for the
government
. The right to
education
 is
everyone
's, but providing free
tuition
 to all students should not be fully funded by the
government
 because of employment opportunities and limited
government
 budgets.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
To enhance task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt, clearly stating your position with a balance of arguments and counterarguments. Strengthen your essay by integrating more comprehensive examples and detailed explanations that are directly linked to the question.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by clearly organizing your ideas into paragraphs that logically follow one another. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively. Establish a clear thesis statement in your introduction and refer back to it in your conclusion for a strong finish.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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