Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this?‌‌

#scientists #activities #health #millions #people

Over the

last

few years, good

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

health has become one of the major problems that people should pay attention

Change preposition

to.

show examples

While

healthy

activities

and unhealthy

activities

are claimed to be the main reasons behind

this

issue, there are some effective solutions that can be applied. In

this

essay, I will discuss major reasons and effective solutions

Change preposition

show examples

this

problem

. On the one hand, there are a variety of different factors that have led to unhealthy

activities

. The first driving force behind

this

problem

is unhealthy

activities

For instance

,People who fight in the UFC know that it has negative consequences, but it is a sport. Another important reason for

this

issue can be unhealthy

activities

This

is because

Although

weightlifting has bad effects on the back, there are people who practice

this

sport.

On the other hand

, despite the fact that healthy activity is not

problem

Add an article

a problem

the problem

show examples

, because Doing sports that are good for health will be good for life.

For example

, if you practice swimming, blood circulates well in your spine and body, and diseases do not approach you. You always keep yourself fresh. You don't need to go to the gym to be healthy, you can easily do it at home.

To conclude

, good for

helath

Correct your spelling

health

is a serious

problem

that is

creating many negative effects,

Correct word choice

but it

show examples

can be addressed with the solutions that have been mentioned above.

Submitted by soglomovsarvar on Sun Mar 17 2024

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Task Response

Firstly, ensure you have thoroughly understood the essay prompt and directly address it in each paragraph. Focus on both the causes and solutions of unhealthy activities, as required by the task.

Task Response

Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Your essay contains basic arguments but lacks in-depth discussion and specific examples to support your points. Research and include more detailed examples and explanations for both causes and solutions.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on the structure of your essay to improve its logical flow. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to announce the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance the cohesion of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences more naturally.

Coherence and Cohesion

Pay attention to grammar and accuracy in your writing. Avoid overly long sentences, and review subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and the correct use of articles and prepositions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

addiction
chemical reactions
dependency
social and cultural norms
convenience
accessibility
education and awareness campaigns
temptations
implementing policies
taxing
supportive environment
accountability
unhealthy habits

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Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this?‌‌

Include an introduction and conclusion

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries, imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However, some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink contains high levels of sugar, Which cause many health problems. Sugary should be made more expensive to encourage to people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?