Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this?‌‌

Over the
last
few years, good
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health has become one of the major problems that people should pay attention
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
While
healthy
activities
and unhealthy
activities
are claimed to be the main reasons behind
this
issue, there are some effective solutions that can be applied. In
this
essay, I will discuss major reasons and effective solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
problem
. On the one hand, there are a variety of different factors that have led to unhealthy
activities
. The first driving force behind
this
problem
is unhealthy
activities
.
For instance
,People who fight in the UFC know that it has negative consequences, but it is a sport. Another important reason for
this
issue can be unhealthy
activities
.
This
is because
Although
weightlifting has bad effects on the back, there are people who practice
this
sport.
On the other hand
, despite the fact that healthy activity is not
problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
show examples
, because Doing sports that are good for health will be good for life.
For example
, if you practice swimming, blood circulates well in your spine and body, and diseases do not approach you. You always keep yourself fresh. You don't need to go to the gym to be healthy, you can easily do it at home.
To conclude
, good for
helath
Correct your spelling
health
is a serious
problem
that is
creating many negative effects,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
can be addressed with the solutions that have been mentioned above.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Firstly, ensure you have thoroughly understood the essay prompt and directly address it in each paragraph. Focus on both the causes and solutions of unhealthy activities, as required by the task.
Task Response
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Your essay contains basic arguments but lacks in-depth discussion and specific examples to support your points. Research and include more detailed examples and explanations for both causes and solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the structure of your essay to improve its logical flow. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to announce the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the cohesion of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences more naturally.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and accuracy in your writing. Avoid overly long sentences, and review subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and the correct use of articles and prepositions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • chemical reactions
  • dependency
  • social and cultural norms
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • temptations
  • implementing policies
  • taxing
  • supportive environment
  • accountability
  • unhealthy habits
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!