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Band 4.5

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign languange instead of studying in their home town. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#people #travel #languange #home #town
Over the
last
 few years, many young
genarations
Correct your spelling
generations
select
Wrong verb form
selected
show examples
 to journey
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
countries
 to learn some
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign language
languange
instead
 of learning in their city or home town. In
this
 essay, l will try to discuss both
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 and negative sides of
this
 and draw a conclusion.
On the other hand
, a lot
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 want to travel abroad to study a
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign language
languange
.
Actually
Add a comma
Actually,
show examples
this
 is very
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
show examples
 for learning a
languange
Correct your spelling
language
.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 that, it is
open
Correct article usage
an open
show examples
 door opportunity
such
 provide with quality education.
For example
, some
countries
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not tongues to humans because it is
possible poor
Replace the word
possibly poorer
show examples
 than other
countries
.
Moreover
,
Add an article
the juvenile
a juvenile
show examples
juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
show examples
 can
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
 learn tongues
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 quality education. If
people
 do not go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
abroad, they do not
facilities
Add a missing verb
have facilities
show examples
study
Fix the infinitive
to study
show examples
. Children want to know some
languanges
Correct your spelling
languages
 because it is important for
they
Change the pronoun
them
show examples
.
On the other hand
, children
leaving
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
 to travel
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
 cities to learn
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 other
languange
Correct your spelling
language
.
As a result
,
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 level
workers
Change preposition
of workers
show examples
 in the government. All children want to
trip
Verb problem
go
show examples
 abroad for quality and cheap education.
Consequancy
Correct your spelling
Consequently
Consequence
, all
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 or jobs may do to older
people
.
Moreover
,
people
 spend very much money
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
For instance
, some
people
 argue that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not
to
Add a missing verb
have to
show examples
 travel
area
Correct article usage
the area
show examples
yo
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 study a
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
 leaving
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and languange
show examples
languange
Correct your spelling
language
instead
 of they should be learning in their home town. I believe that it is very amenities for all humans. In conclusion,
while
learn
Change the form of the verb
learning
show examples
 a foreign
languange
Correct your spelling
language
 in other
countries
 can offer several positives, there may be some drawbacks too. From my personal
pont
Correct your spelling
point
 of
veiw
Correct your spelling
view
,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of
this
 will
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the disadvantages.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure your essay follows a clear, logical structure. Begin with an introduction that outlines the topic then lead into separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages. Use linking words effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your main points more fully by providing more detailed examples and explanations. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea or argument related to the advantages and disadvantages of studying a foreign language abroad.
Task Achievement
Address the task response by covering all parts of the question directly. Clearly differentiate between the advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs. Be explicit in your introduction and conclusion about what you will discuss and have concluded.
Task Achievement
Improve your task achievement by providing clear, comprehensive ideas supported by relevant, specific examples. Avoid general statements and instead offer precise examples that directly illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.
General Advice
Proofread your work to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. This will enhance readability and clarify your arguments, contributing to a better score in all criteria.

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